December 2012 - Day 2 - Magnetic Pole Shift

On the second day of the apocalypse
My true love said to me:
Oh look...
Two Poles that Shift
And it seems I've become a zombie.

What:

Magnetic pole shift.

Where:

The backyard of some unfortunate polar bear that just got overrun with penguins.

How:

North and South decide they're going to play a pesky, little trick on everyone and switch places.

How to Survive:

Go dig a hole, then watch Blast from the Past and pretend you lived in it for a few decades.

I'll admit, I own a book entitled How to Survive 2012: Tactics and Survival Places for the Coming Pole Shift.  It was like 2 bucks at the Borders clearance sale.  Seriously, how could I not???  In a bitter bout of foreshadowing, Borders bites the dust a mere year before the coming apocalypse, and you expect me NOT to buy a 2012 survival guide?  Really.  I thought we knew each other better.

Anyway, this guy's thesis is that the Mayans predicted a pole shift in 2012, and that's what's going to cause the apocalypse.  And you know what he uses to support his thesis, beyond Mayan prophecies.  Super numbers.

That's right, 2, 3 and 9.  Be jealous.  This guy has super numbers. 

Really, though, dude.  Pole shifts?  That's kid stuff.  We have pole shifts ALL the time.  The geologic record shows them every few thousand years or so.  The apocalypse will be much worse.

But, as it's something new for this generation of people, and potentially destructive, it'll happen.  This is just a fact of the apocalypse.  If it's destructive, we'll get to experience it.  Yay!

Oh, and this book also claims the sun's poles are going to shift this year too.  Well... maybe it'll be something bigger than a little bonking out of a compass. 

So, the north pole becomes the south pole, and vice versa.  But don't worry.  Your GPS probably won't be affected, since it uses satellites, not magnetic north and south.

But, other things will happen.  For instance:

* Hurricanes/Tornados
* Sunstorms
* Volcanoes
* Glaciation
* Tidal Waves
* Continental Shift
and to top it of
* Rising and Sinking Mountains

At least, that's what this author is claiming.  The author of the surviving 2012 book insists the way to do this is "hidin' holes" and regrouping when there's nothing left but bitter aftermath.

Sounds apocalyptic.

The other scenario of a pole shift is that we all feel a little tingly for an hour or so, and then our compasses spin in crazy circles like on Pocahontas, settle pointing south, and nobody really cares since we all use GPS now anyway.