There are different levels of rude awakening.
MILD:
There's waking up to your spouse talking in their sleep. Now, personally, I'd rate this a 2 on the 1-10 scale of rude awakenings. Honestly, I think it's cute. And, if you can understand what they're saying, it can be downright hilarious. And if it bothers you, you can simply rub their arm a couple times, and they'll settle down.
MODERATE:
The next level would be waking up because your spouse is over on your side of the bed. Now, if you're really charitable, you can look at this as unexpected cuddle time, but more than likely you're going to prefer sleep. This requires actually waking your spouse up and telling them to please roll their butt back over to their own side of the bed. I'd give this a 4.
SEVERE:
After that we have waking up to your spouse yelling, "OH, SH**! SH**! SH**!" in their sleep while violently throwing themselves onto your side of the bed (and on top of you). This is definitely a 9.
I QUIT:
The only ruder awakening than the above scenario is waking up to a vision of spiders crawling all over your legs and sheets, under your blankets, causing you to create the above scenario for your spouse. This, and only this, is a 10.
My husband had an abundance of charity for me tonight, and wrapped his arm protectively around me, asking, "Are you alright? What happened?"
I was still gasping. "Spiders! Spiders! Lots and lots! In the bed!"
He was still a tad disoriented from being violently jumped on by a swearing she-devil. "Spiders?"
"No... wait..." My brain was starting to come back. "I think some of them might have been a dream."
He squeezed me tightly and settled back into his pillow. "Yeah, I think all of them were a dream."
All of them?
I tentatively kicked my leg back over to my side of the bed, feeling the sheets. Smooth fabric - not a single spider.
I indulged in the snuggle for another second before realizing the words I had dreamed upon discovering spiders in my sheets. "Um... Carl? Did I swear?"
Was he laughing? I was still too asleep to tell.
"Yes. Yes, you did."
Oops. Sorry.
And this is why I'm up at 5:30 AM on a weekend, therapy blogging.
Subconscious, just... stop.
