Thursday, October 28, 2010

NERD MOMENT!!!!

I just wrote the word "chronology."  I was advising a person who had used "chronology, chronological, chronologically," and other related words about 83 times in his 3 page paper to figure out another word to convey the "chrono" idea.  Then, upon writing the word "chrono," I thought of the name "Kronos."  Then, I thought about how Kronos was the Titan lord of time.  Then I thought about how Chronology is relating to time.

Guess what.  The word chronology comes from the Titan lord Kronos!!!  I figured that out all by myself!

And, best of all, you can't imagine the rush of excitement the discovery of the etymology of that word gave me!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Time for a Contest!

Hey, all of my illustrious reader!

So, as it would have it, my blog still doesn't have a title.  I'm not that good at naming things.  Usually, when I name something it becomes Herman, Jean-Steve (That's like French Jean, not like jeans), Humphrey or Beauregard.  James took pity on the stuffed frog he gave me and named it Ivan before I could get to it.

So, as you've probably figured, my blog's name has been changing a lot.


I considered naming it something like, "Savannah's Deep and Ponderous Musings on Life and the Nature of Humanity," but... well... you'd have to be a professional literary analyst to pick deep and ponderous meanings out of my typical subject matter.

Then I thought, "Thoughts of Me," and decided that was too original of a title.

Then I wracked my brain for something that was purely "me" and thought of....


____________________



That's a blank line... in case you couldn't tell.

So, now I'm left, still unable to think of anything.  Michelle has elected to keep my original title ("Call me Savvy and I will throw a plantain at your face") as the title of her link to this blog.  Really, that was just a moment of me attempting to think of something, drawing a blank, wondering what a plantain tasted like, and some random stinker called me Savvy.  That was never intended to be my blog's title.

So, now I'm throwing up my hands!  Somebody else think of something!  I'm officially having a contest.  Whoever can think of the awesomest title for my blog will win the honor of having me name my blog something that they came up with.  Oh, and I will make them a dessert of choice too.

There is only one requirement:
IT MUST BE AWESOME!

You can define awesome however you want.  Funny?  Creative?  Cool word play?  Profound?  If it floats my boat, I will be a happy person, and you will get homemade dessert.  (If somebody in another state - like Missouri - comes up with the name, I will figure out some other way of procuring dessert for them.)

So, have at it!  If you think of something brilliant, you can email me, comment on this post, facebook, text, tell me in person... the options are limitless!  You can even rent an airplane and spell it out in the sky!

Multiple submissions allowed.  This contest open for legal residents of the United States of America, it's territories, and some foreign countries, including but not limited to England, France, Spain, Sweden, Luxembourg, the Dominican Republic, Rwanda, Disney Land, Czechoslovakia, USSR, Japan, and Texas.  Contestants must not point out that the USSR doesn't exist anymore.  Must be 18 years of age or older to be considered an adult and therefore allowed to buy cigarettes.  Must not be Mormon to buy cigarettes.  The creators of said contest hereby release any liability for submissions which may be slanderous, obscene, making fun of dead puppies, or written in an ancient and unreadable language.  The creators also release any liability for food poisoning that may result from raw chicken eaten prior to consumption of prize dessert. Creators of contest not responsible for any death that may occur by renting of airplane for the purpose of submission.  Creators of contest do claim responsibility for death caused by renting of airplane to run people over.  Please include two proofs of purchase and a $15 handling fee to receive free "I love Rapunzel's argyle scrunchies!" t-shirt.  T-shirt not available in the continental United States, Canada, or Earth.  Please direct any questions you may or may not have to the Name This Awesome Blog Contest Hotline at 1-800-645-3782-455647388-7564jvgj84yf8343h, and ask for Jean-Steve.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Since I've Been Wishing for a Time Machine

The strangest thing happened to me today!

I was sitting outside on a little, wire chair, $5 Foot Long in hand, when a girl came and sat across from me.  She looked pretty young, a freshman, maybe?  She reminded me of myself about 3 years ago.  Her medium brown hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and she was wearing a green tank top under a white button up shirt that was open at the top.  There was something extremely familiar about her - I was sure I'd met her before.  I just couldn't think of where.  It was like running into your best friend from kindergarten 20 years later - you KNOW you've seen them, they're permanently ingrained in your memory, but the memory is too far removed, and just won't connect.

"Hi," she said, a little shyly.  "Can I study with you?"

Apparently I was familiar to her too.

I put away my phone - I'd just called in sick to work - and sat back, an amused and slightly exhausted smile in place.  "Honey, I've been studying for the last four hours.  I'm taking a break now, but you're welcome to study with me while I eat my sandwich."

She nodded and pulled out her laptop.  It was huge - like the one I used to lug all around campus, and now use only for art and photography.  With that came a biology book.  Ah, she was a Freshman.  Biology 101.  I remembered that class.  It had been interesting, but not enough to convince me to take anything else along those lines.

She started reading from her book, then typed something into her computer.

"Are you taking notes on your reading?"  Maybe she had an aversion to highlighters... or drawing in books.

She nodded, and looked up, still shy, as if wondering if I recognized her.  "Yeah, notes on my computer are searchable.  They'll help while I'm studying for the exam."

"Midterms this week?" I asked sympathetically.  Those were the bane of my entire week.

She shrugged.  "Sort of."

Sort of?  Okaaaaayyyyyy........

She peeked out from behind her laptop again, looking awkward.  She wanted to say something, but was obviously afraid of how I'd take it.  Had I dripped marinara on my chin?  Nose?  That wouldn't be the first time.  But no, it was more than that.  She was worried what I would think of her.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, trying to look like I wouldn't think she was weird if she asked the question.

"Ummmmmmm..." she hesitated, then looked me in the eyes.  "Do you recognize me?"

Crap.  Yes, but now I'd have to admit that while I recognized her, I didn't remember her enough to know from where.

I gave her an apologetic smile.  "Yes, you look really familiar... but I can't place it.  I swear, I've seen you before... like a bazillion times.  You're like the girl I pass by every single day but never talk to or something."

She bit her lips, then grinned.  It was mischievous.  "You got fat."

Excuse me???  I know I've gained a few pounds in the last month or so, but really?  Sorry, you little Freshman brat, but I also learned a little jiu jitsu, and can knock you out in four seconds.  Wanna try that one on for size?

She burst out laughing at the look on my face.

"Come on, Savannah, I was just kidding!"

I was not amused.

She sighed and shook her head.  Apparently the timidity had evaporated.  "They told me I'd forget."

"Forget what?" I demanded, still glaring.

"They told me that if you go to your own future, when you go back, you forget everything you saw and heard.  I hoped it wasn't true, but apparently it is."

No. Way.

"What?"

"I look just like you, don't I?" she pointed out.  "See, I even have that really light colored mole on the left side of my face, and the scar," she pulled up her pant leg, "from when you were a fourth year at girl's camp and tried to get the canoe unstuck, which then floated off the drop off before you could get back-"

"Okay, not funny.  Who are you really?"

"I'm you!  Really!" she insisted.
"Okay, me," I challenged, "If you really are me, then who was your first kiss?"

She sat back and folded her arms.  "Nick Burton.  I was five."

I shook my head.  "Doesn't count.  You don't actually remember it.  For all you know it could be a fabrication of Clarke's vivid imagination."

She nodded.  "You know, I never thought of that.  Okay, then I haven't been kissed."

"Wrong."

"What?  Oh, wait.  You're not counting Nathan, the Sunbeam that assaulted me while I was primary pianist, are you?"

Shoot.  She knew about that.  But then, I'd told plenty of people about it, so it was possible whoever had concocted this practical joke knew that one.  I needed something better.  Something only I knew about.  Stories I hadn't written yet?  Yeah, that would be perfect.  There were characters I'd never mentioned to anyone, that I wouldn't mention until I wrote them... if I ever did.  This one would stump her for sure.

"Alright, who is Jack?"

"Lindsey's uncle.  He's an archaeologist with no sense of humor, no sense of decency, and no people skills.  I had a lot of fun coming up with him."

Okay then.  Apparently when I was a freshman I went through a time machine and completely forgot about it.

"Now then, if you're done with your inspection, can I get to explaining the real reason I'm here?" she asked... er, I asked... in the way past tense... askeded?

"Um... okay."

"I wanted to come to the future and observe myself, you know, see how I was at the END of my college career."

"Okay, well I guess you should get to observing me, then. And I should get back to studying for my exam."

"Ooh!  It's midterms!" she said, all excited.  "How are you doing in your classes so far?"

I chuckled.  "Well, let's see.  I got a D- on my last England history exam, a 58% on the multiple choice section of US history, but I think I did well on the essay, so that should pick the grade up... What?"

Her eyes were wide.  Pure shock and utter horror.

"But... but... HOW?!"

"How what?"

"D-??? 58%???  Aren't you even trying?  What about your scholarship?  What about your GPA?  Are you not doing the reading?  Are you not taking notes on what you read anymore?  Have you ever," she paused, lowering her voice to a whisper, "skipped class?!"

I rolled my eyes.  "Honey, when you're taking 14 credit hours, working 23 hours a week, and babysitting in your remaining few early morning hours, something's gotta give.  Besides, remember what Clarke said when you first started school? 'C's get Degrees!'  It's true.  Don't worry, I'm a senior.  I'm in my last year of school and I don't have to keep a scholarship anymore."

She bit her lower lip, trying to contain her horror.  "So... you're working, then?"

"Yep."

"What's your job?"

"I work at a call center."  I glanced at my watch again and smiled.  "Actually, I should be there right now, but I called in so I could take my test and get ready for the next one."

"YOU CALLED IN SICK WHEN YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY SICK??? WHO ARE YOU??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!!!"  She burst into sobs.  "Take it away!  I want to forget!  Take me back through the time machine and suck my memories away!  I'll never be that girl!  NEVER!!!"

She turned around and smacked into a pole.  Then she ran away.

"Hm," I murmured, watching her go.  "I don't remember being that melodramatic.  Oh well.  Off to finish studying.  Oh, forget it.  I've studied enough.  I'll just take the thing and get it over with."

Before going to the testing center, I stopped at a little convenience store just off campus - the nearest place to BYU that sold caffeine, and got a Mt. Dew.  I'd need that extra kick to get me through this test and the next.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

My freshman self flew through the air, grabbing onto the bottle.  "You're not drinking caffeine anymore!  You're not drinking caffeine!  It's baaaaaaaaad for yoooooouuuuuu!"

I grappled with her for the bottle.  "It's medicinal!  Get off!  I need the energy!"

"So exercise!"

"Somebody take this girl back to her time machine please!!!"

A red hole opened in the sky, and a hand reached out, grabbing my freshman self's collar.  It pulled her into the hole, and she disappeared, screaming, "I'll never be her!  I'll never be her!"

The end.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A is for apple, B is for Bull.

There reaches a point when too much really IS too much.  Like, 4 midterms in one weekend for example.  Yep, that's right.  Four.  Quatro.  Count them on your fingers... if you've lost one of your fingers, anyway.  I took my first one today (well, technically yesterday since it's now Sunday), and I'm taking two more tomorrow and the last one on Tuesday.

Not only do I have to take four, but they're all essay based history exams that involve memorizing things to identify, and then applying them into the bigger picture.  I finished with US history from 1815-1830, and spent a good sized chunk of tonight preparing for Middle East and Islam from Muhammad to the Crusades.  Then I have Isaiah.  Then I have Ancient Near East.  I'm studying for all of these, and the facts are starting to blur together.

I think I've got them straightened out, though.

Near as I can tell, Isaiah, who was the Seal of the Prophets, fiercely advocated Indian Removal from the city of Ugarit near the Mediterranean Sea.  This happened because the Abbasid Caliphate, in response to Suppiluliuma I's siege of Jerusalem, determined that the only way to prevent Western intervention in the Byzantine Empire was to instigate internal improvements and a transportation revolution, but the Indians were occupying the land they wished to improve.  The Indians were also inciting rebellion amongst the slaves, who were Mamluk Turks, in hopes of inspiring the Hittites to intervene in the affairs of Mittani, where the Caliphate was located.
Isaiah warned that if they didn't remove the Indians to the Western world (west of the Mississippi River, in fact), the people would turn to idolatry, and be subjected to destruction and rule by a foreign nation, and then be sifted as chaff.
Upon hearing this warning, Andrew Jackson determined he would be the hero to remove the Indians from Ugarit, and invaded their fort, deporting their governor to Cuba.  These actions were a blatant violation of the orders given to him by Al-Ghazli, the pharaoh in Egypt, and created an international incident between the "Great Powers Club," which consisted of Egypt, Assyria, Babylon, and the United States of America.
Because of this incident, the United States sent their top diplomat, Maher-shalal-hash-baz, to deal with the situation.  He succeeded in getting the Umayyad Dynasty in the Iberian Peninsula to cede not only Ugarit, but all of Anatolia as well to the United States in the Adams-Onis treaty, with the understanding the the United States would not try to interfere with the actions of the Umayyads in Constantinople.
However, the United States violated this treaty during the Fourth Crusade, in which they sent Richard the Lionheart to Egypt, but he was diverted by lack of finances, and sacked Constantinople instead.
Both Isaiah and Pope Urban II condemned Richard's actions, and criticized James Madison for allowing this to happen.  Madison insisted Richard had acted of his own accord, and did so in direct violation of orders, much as Jackson had done.

There.  Pretty sure that covers it.  I'll get an A for sure!