Friday, February 11, 2011

Move over, Chuck! There's a new awkward super spy in town!

Adventure!  Excitement!  Yes, the stuff of my life.

Today's adventure actually began yesterday, with the discovery of my skills.

I was walking to school along that wooded path above the stadium and, to my dismay, a fallen tree blocked my path.  It was a very branchy tree, and only half of it had fallen, the other half still sticking straight up in the side of the steep hill.  That situation made going around nigh impossible.  So, I tried going over.

It went something like this:

*Hold onto straight trunk while standing on fallen trunk* <branch in the face> "Ow!" <stumble> "WHAH!" <splat!>
"Geh heh... that was fun!"

And off I went.

On the way home from my morning lab, I was again faced with the tree in the trail, but this time I had experience.  I jumped up and landed on the fallen trunk, narrowly avoided the branches to the face, dodged the big branch, and jumped to the ground, successfully over.

While my second encounter with the tree was significantly more graceful than the first, it was nothing compared to the third.  Thursdays I have an evening class.  I have to go to school twice.  That means that yet again, I encountered the fallen tree.

This time, it was awesome!  I sprung from the ground and caught hold of the straight trunk, using that momentum to swing my body around as I planted my feet against the side of the hill.  I swung myself onto the fallen trunk, dodged each and every branch as I balanced myself, walking to the other side, where I leaped into the air, landing on the ground with catlike grace.

That. Was. AWESOME!!!!!!

I sat there, gloating to myself over my magnificent move, and the glorious grace with which I perfectly performed said stunt!  Did you see that, universe?  Did you see that?  THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!!! (yes, please picture the little kid from The Incredibles yelling that.)  That's right, James Bond, you ain't got nothin' on my skills!  That was a super spy move right there!

I cheerfully skipped the rest of the way to my class, where I spent 3 hours learning about how to develop a magic system in a fictional fantasy world (yes, Brandon Sanderson's creative writing class is awesome!)

On the way home, it was all dark and creepy outside, so I chose the paved route, rather than walking through the dark strip of woods.  Sadly, I did not face the tree again.

This morning, however, I knew I'd have my chance.  Once again, I'd show my awesomeness!  Not only that, but today there was someone to see it!  My friend, Kunkee, was leaving for school the same time that I was, so that meant he'd get to go over the trunk with me!

Now, in all honesty, I wasn't thinking about the trunk or my stunt at that point.  It didn't occur to me until we were actually on said path.  But, the instant I saw that fallen tree blocking our path, I remembered yesterday... I remembered my super skills greatness!  I grinned to myself.  Oh yes.  This time, someone would see.  It would be remembered!

I approached the tree, and quickened my pace.  There was that standing trunk!  I sprung!  I grabbed the trunk, gathering momentum for the swing, I planted my feet...

... in a hole.

<CRUNCH!>

"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!  OWWWWWWW!!!!!!  OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!"

When I was done screaming my head off, Kunkee carried me off the path.  He then went and got my car so I could take him to school and drive myself to the student health clinic.  What a nice guy!

According to the doctor, 'tis only a sprain.  I need to elevate it and keep it on ice.  Be sure to use crutches and an ankle brace.  In two weeks, go see a podiatrist for a follow up and advice on physical therapy to help it heal.

Yep.  Looks like my super spy days are done for a little while.