Excuse me while I have a stronger than necessary opinion for a second.

Headline: "What's leading Afghan troops to turn on coalition forces?"

Article [paraphrased]: "Some Marines got shot in the back by an Afghan police officer, three were killed.  This is just one of several incidents of insider attacks this year, and is becoming a mounting problem.  What could be causing it?
"A spokesman for NATO states that the main reasons are personal grievances, stress situations, and what we call battle fatigue.  Only 10% of these attacks are Taliban related, while the remaining 90% are just personal grievances.
"A former Afghan border police blames it on the foreigners' disrespect for their culture.  He tells us that the soldiers have entered Afghan homes without permission, killed innocent civilians, bombarded wedding parties, entered mosques with dogs, and burned the Holy Qur'an.  The Afghan people have been humiliated by the foreign troops."

Really!  What could POSSIBLY be leading those troops to turn on the US soldiers?

No $#!t, guys.

Try having a shred of respect for the nations you're invading, okay?

This overly-strong opinion brought to you by nine years of frustration with the US government's foreign policies.  Tune in next time for "Apple's Monopolistic Tendencies: Why some companies deserve to be target practice for ICBMs."

How to Win Friends and Be a Jerk

I got asked to edit a script today.  My boss said, "Hey, can you look this over?  Just make sure there isn't anything in it that sounds sketchy, or like a pyramid scheme."

Now, as the company I work for is a multilevel, network marketing company (ie... pyramid... just without the scheme since we have a legitimate product) that can be a real problem.

So, I printed out the document and started reading.  Mostly it was good.  It felt smooth, believable, reputable... what the?  "I know this sounds too easy to be true, but..." 

Really?  Okay, that needs to be changed.  I got out my red pen.

Now, if I had been editing for someone I didn't work with every day, I would have written, "This sentence sounds sketchy.  Omit."  I would have kept it professional.

But it was for my boss.  He likes my sense of humor, and he's used to my voice.  So I wrote, "And now, for a limited time only, when you buy this too good to be true offer, we'll throw in a small country in Europe!  ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!  Call now, at 1-800-I-SOUND-FISHY."

And then I found a missing word and a couple other typo's and turned it in.

Well...

It wasn't for him.

He didn't even look at it.  He just gave it off to the Creative Team who wrote it and said, "I asked my assistant to edit this for you."

They looked over my edits, came back to me, and said, "Really.  That wasn't necessary."

And now I think I'll spend the rest of my life hiding in a small, dark and very unprofessional hole.