Caring for newborn twins is fun. Never before have I requested divine intervention for defecation and flatulence.
Last night, around 5:00 AM, whilst lost to the throes of exhaustion, my brain suddenly turned on creative mode, & I found myself composing haikus, of all things.
Now, infant haikus to my children are my new thing. Here is a sampling of my work. (The 2nd one to my son, Anders, is the result of my 5:00 AM creative session.)
A storm is coming.
You haven't pooped in five days.
I will make you poop!
For Annalaé Rose:
It's just a diaper.
You are not being murdered.
Did you just turn blue?
For Anders:
Sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep.
Don't drop your pacifier.
Omg please sleep.
For Annalaé Rose, 3 haikus in succession:
That wasn't a burp.
Your grunts don't fool me.
Burp, or no more food.
Oh, now you're fussing.
Meh, that could have been a burp.
K, but you owe me.
Now you are sleeping.
I never got a good burp.
Please don't puke on me.
Edit: I've been doing a lot of these and posting them on Facebook. I'd like them all in the same spot, so I'm adding them here until I can make a file.
For Annalaé Rose:
There's this thing I do.
I sleep during burping time.
Mommy just loves it!
A conversation with my daughter (in haikus, of course):
O hysteria!
"Life after birth is so hard!
How will I survive?"
"Why the tears, my love?"
"I farted myself awake!"
Oh. Of course you did.
Now a haiku about myself:
I need healthy food.
Oh look. Babies are awake.
Pop Tarts it is, then.
Anders's haikus to his pacifier:
O pacifier!
You were made to be spit out.
Now I cry for you.
Daddy puts you back,
So I spit you out again.
Now I cry for you.
Daddy puts you back,
Roughly seven hundred times,
Since I cry for you.
O pacifier!
None of us will ever sleep,
When I cry for you.
Meanwhile, with Annalaé Rose...
Oh, I'm so hungry!
Latch onto Daddy's bicep.
That's not a nipple.
Oh, I'm so hungry!
Latch onto Mommy's armpit.
SO not a nipple.
Oh, I'm so hungry!
Yummy! Mommy's collar bone!
Nope, not a nipple.
Oh, I'm so hungry!
Daddy's nose looks so tasty!
Was that a nipple?
Finaly, I burp.
Hey look, the bottle is back!
At last, a nipple.
