Last time I watched the sequels to Jurassic Park, it had been a very long time since I'd seen them, so I made a game out of predicting who would die.
This time I'm taking it a bit further.
I present,
Dinosaur Death Bingo!
The rules are simple. Print out pictures of characters from the actors' IMDB profiles, arrange them in the most strategic way you can think of, and mark them off as they die.
There are also a few rules like, you have to include the 4 main characters on your bingo card, the death must occur by dinosaur and not boating accident or something, and they have to actually die, not just suffer an unknown fate.
Seriously, I'm so excited to play this game. All I can say about it is that Carl had better beat me, because if I actually win this thing I may shriek, "BINGO!!!" in the middle of the theater, right at the most terrifying moment of death. I mean, can you imagine watching Jurassic Park for the first time, in a dark theater, and right when that bloody arm falls on Ellie's shoulder, some moron in the crowd yells out, "BINGO!" Or worse, when Muldoon, the South African hunter guy, looks up and mutters his most infamous line, the words, "Clever girl," are drowned out by the hyper shrieking of someone you can only assume is an Alzheimer's patient who forgot they weren't in their nursing home on Friday night.
I don't want to be that person.
Carl, please don't let me be that person.
Update:
Neither of us got a Bingo. I made a critical mistake, putting all my "most likely to die" in a single row, and one of them almost died and then was epically saved by the protagonist. One of Carl's "most likely to die" turned out to have a completely different role in the film than he suspected.
Sad, sad, day.
But, on the bright side, it was a much better movie than I thought it was going to be! (Minus the final battle... but I'll spare you the rant on dinosaur character development.)
