Dear Brain,
Please knock it off, jerk. So what if I want to get my "hopes up"? Hoping is a fun thing to do, and you know what, disappointment is a core part of life. And yes, I know I'm not being smart. But you know what? Smart isn't always the best way of doing things. Geez, live a little!
Go get a life,
Emotional Basket Case
Dear Emotional Basket Case,
In response to your letter dated 05/28/2013, I would like to remind you that it is my primary function to aide you in the avoidance of pain. Pain is a response designed to warn the body (and, yes, the heart is included as a core element of said body) of practices that are not healthy, and potentially damaging in the long term. Just as you would not deliberately place your bare posterior inside a vat of ant killer, so you must also refrain from investing too much energy into hoping. Indeed, I would advise you to wait until you have more substantial evidence on which to base your hopes. Past experience, from which my data is derived, has indicated that the miniscule bits of evidence to which you now cling are no where near conclusive enough for any kind of hope. The probability that you will suffer the malady known as "disappointment" is quite high. As you have experienced this painful emotion many times, I will not remind you of the feeling, or the potential damage it may do to your psyche.
Please consider what I have said.
Sincerely,
Brain.
Dear Brain,
What the heck? Not enough evidence? Okay, so some patterns are the same, yes. But some things that are happening RIGHT NOW have never happened before!!! Come on, they fit the signs. As the mother-freaking-board of the entire body, and the observer of all things in the universe, I need not remind you, of what you can CLEARLY see happening. Go recrunch your stupid numbers.
Emotional Basket Case
Dear Emotional Basket Case,
You bring up a valid point. Considering the data I have, the evidence is highly in favor of your hopes. However, I would warn you that my data is limited, and I would still be wary of excessive hoping. Excessive is defined as any beyond what little would motivate you to seek out more data. Please seek out more data so that we may bring this issue to rest.
Sincerely,
Brain
Dear Brain,
"Oh, hope is not warranted. Oh wait, yes it is, but you shouldn't hope anyway." You know what, you're a jerk. Guess what. If hope is warranted, I'M GOING TO FREAKING HOPE!!!!
Deal with it.
Emotional Basket Case
Dear Emotional Basket Case,
Again, please seek out more data so that we may bring this issue to rest.
Sincerely,
Brain
