"Hi! Can we come visit you some time this week?"
"Okay. But just so you know, I don't like those awkward lessons. If we're gonna do visiting teaching, we should do it right and go have fun! Hey, let's go get ice cream... or Cafe Rio!"
"Okay, that sounds great! You know, you're right. Visiting teaching isn't about lessons - it's about forming friendships."
"Yeah. That's right." Phew! My new visiting teachers understand.
"And we'll have the lesson while we have fun!"
Ummmm... no.
"Really, I don't like the lessons. They always feel forced and awkward. If we could, you know, play a game or something?"
"Oh, okay."
**next day**
Knock knock knock.
"Hi!" Oh, look. You're carrying an Ensign.
"Hi, Savannah! Here! We brought you some cookies! Listen, my companion can't go out tonight, she has an appointment in half an hour. Could we just stay here? I planned an activity."
An Ensign, and a Disney Princess coloring book. "Um, alright. But the TV's on and I don't want to interrupt my roommate, soooo... Club House?"
**inside Club House**
"So, Savannah. We'd like to give you just a short message. Have you had a chance to look at the Visiting Teaching message this month?"
"No."
"Oh. Alright, well, that's okay." **flashes coloring book into sight** "So, do you like princesses?"
Not since I grew boobs. "Well... sort of? I mean, I like the feisty ones more than the froofy ones."
"Oh. Okay. Well, I just wanted to read you a scripture here that talks about how we are daughters of God. So really, we are all princesses!"
How about Princess Leia? I could totally do Leia. "Yay!"
[insert scripture]
"Now, for our activity! We are going to-" **dramatic gasp, wide eyes, coloring book held high** "-color princesses!"
Not until I've had my animal crackers, we won't. "Oh boy!"
"Here. Now pick a picture of your favorite princess, and while you're coloring, we can talk! And we can get to know you! Because, just like you said yesterday, Visiting Teaching isn't about the lesson. It's about making friends!"
**Begin Spiritual Evaluation**
"So, have you served a mission?"
"No."
"You mentioned you had brothers. Did they serve missions?"
"Yes."
"Oh good. Did you grow up in the church?"
"Yes."
"Did your parents grow up in the church or were they converts?"
"One of each."
"So tell me something about yourself."
"I'm really anti-social. I hate people. People suck. And I'm really bitter about boys. They suck too. And I'm sick of BYU housing because of all the rules. I'm just SO DONE with it all!"
"Oh. Wow. Um, well... tell me why you feel that way about people? What is it about them?"
Hahaha. "Nah, I'm totally kidding. I love people. People are great."
"Oh, good!"
**
Alright, I'll admit I dropped the word "hell" in there at some point, just to see her squirm. I kinda felt bad for her companion who sat there, dead silent, unsure of what to do with either of us. But really. I told her no lessons.
