Thursday, October 13, 2011

Why Savannah did the dishes.

My apartment is a wreck.  It kinda reminds me of when I was a kid, how I couldn't keep my room clean.

Well... I still can't keep my room clean.

But this isn't about my room!  I mean, at least when the clutter and debris get out of hand it really bothers me and I clean it.  That's a vast improvement from the room I cleaned semi-annually as a teenager... the room that caused my mom to say, "Hey, let's finish the basement so Savannah's room can be two floors below mine and I won't have to wear a hazmat suit to walk through my house!"

Anyway, remember what I said about out-of-hand debris bothering me?  Well...

IT'S BOTHERING ME!!!

Unfortunately, my room is the least of it (especially now that I've cleaned it).  See, one roommate had a huge project that took up residence in the front room, and another roommate has her school stuff in the front room, and one roommate has all her school/work/life stuff in the front room, and there is a bunch of unclaimed mail that hasn't been removed from the table yet, somebody unloaded the contents of the storage closet into the front room, and somebody decided to move all the flower vases onto the table but not put flowers in them, and the pitchers that were in the way of the vases made it onto the table too, and the dishwasher exploded and flooded the kitchen and the carpet in the front room so the padding under the carpet has been removed and the carpet is all pulled up, there is shredded padding all over the house, the dishes have been piling in the sink and on the counters and table and stove top, and the whole place is in desperate need of a solid vacuuming.... but it's kinda hard to vacuum when so much clutter is in the way.  With all the stuff on the table, there's no where to sit when I eat, and with all the stuff on the couches, there's no where to sit period.

Basically, if my 13 year old self saw the level of bothered I'm getting over this, she'd look at the path she had carved in the clutter on her floor, shrug her shoulders and say, "Huh.  Weird."

And that is why I did the dishes.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Once upon a pasta

So, the servers crashed at work today.  It wasn't just any server.  It was the server that allowed us to charge credit cards, which meant that for half of my shift I sat there taking orders by hand.  It was nightmarish, but then something started to happen.  The call center swirled around me, and I suddenly realized I was dressed in a skirt, puffy sleeves, Victorian boots and those poofy pants things girls wore under their dresses, and my headset had turned into a tin can.  The tin can was attached to a string, and it ran through a hedge, and was attached to another tin can, which a customer was speaking into, telling me their order.

Then the hedge swirled.  I started to wonder what had been in the chicken leg I ate for lunch.  Maybe the chicken was a 'shroom addict before it got its head whapped off and its legs dipped in Barbecue sauce.

Anyway, when the technology continued to decrease, until I was dressed like a nun, dipping my feather in ink and scratching the order onto a piece of parchment.  Then the parchment disappeared and turned into a rock... and I lost ALL my work!

GRRR!  I should have waited for the technological digression to stop before attempting to record the order.  Anyway, at that point, I had two rocks, and I attempted to bang the order into the bigger rock.  The customer was grunting at me and pointing.  I think it had something to do with the wooly mammoth fur I was wearing.

Then I realized.

The customer was ordering a rock.

I stopped chiseling.  I gave the customer the rock.  He gave me a tuna fish as payment.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when the servers crash at work.  Be grateful for technology, for someday it might leave you.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Cars and problems and all sorts of whining and stuff

So, I'm kind of an idiot.  I mean, I love myself and I have lots of confidence, so don't go worrying about my self esteem or anything, but really... I'm kind of an idiot.

I'm also idealistic and demanding, and dramatically chicken and really good at running from things that scare me or make me think I'm gonna get my heart stomped on.


And then, when all is said and done, I just wish I knew how to make it better.