That week... you know, the one right before finals that makes finals look warm and fuzzy...

**Sigh**

It's that time again.  It's the time where I start freaking out because all my projects are due.  At least this year it's easier.  I only have 2 major projects that require critical thinking.  Otherwise, I'm free to let my mind turn into goop while I just follow instructions on how to put a case on a text block while gluing my hand to the table.

But, tonight is one of those critical thinking nights.  I'm writing about Anna Komnene... or Comnena, depending on if you're Westernized or not.

Now, I know Anna gets lots of praise for being a female historian in the notoriously misogynistic middle ages, but really.  I don't care if post modern historians love her for being a feminist symbol.  Her history sucks.

Now, political propaganda, on the other hand... man!  She's got that down.  That girlie can sure spin a story to make her dear old dad look like the best thing that ever happened to Byzantium, Greece, and possibly the whole world.  She also brags incessantly through the book about herself... her education, her family, her ugly brother who took her throne (sorry honey, feminist power or not, you're not getting the throne), her grandma that she really liked, her poor dead husband for whom she sheds many a tragic tear... etc.

So kudos to you, Anna, for writing the single most biased, inaccurate historical document ever to be praised by educated people.

See?  I can write about my topic.  That's great.  Now to translate THAT thought into something worthy of an academic paper.

[boring monotone] Anna Comnena is praised among historians for the book which she wrote containing an account of her father, Alexius Comnenus.  This history, though containing many historical inaccuracies, is an excellent example of feminism in the middle ages.  Anna's education, the details of which are explained in the introduction to The Alexiad, and in other places throughout, was extensive, and shows what opportunities were available to women in high places in the Byzantine Empire.  [/boring monotone]

See?  Look at that!  Perfectly accurate, addresses the issues of the day, and has absolutely NONE of my opinions in it!  Perfect academic paper.

Now, off to write the last 2 pages of blahdy blah blah.

When all else fails, eat poop.

I made poop today!  It was quite delicious.  I mixed powdered sugar, butter, cream cheese and cocoa in a plastic bag and kneaded it until it was all hard like fudge.  Only, when you make fudge in a plastic bag and knead it, it turns to form a turd shape.  Who knew plastic bags were just like a large intestine!

So, today I had drama.  All sorts of drama.  Roommate drama, family drama... drama with my mama...

Not really.  I didn't have drama with my mama.  I don't even call her mama.  I call her Momma.  I'm pretty sure that's not a correct spelling, but I like it.  So there.

Anywho, there was drama.

So, I was sitting there, kneading my poop fudge, making lots of noise.  Then I ate the poop fudge.

The heavens opened... angels sang... the whole world rejoiced!  Savannah had FUDGE!!!!

Then, my drama all went away.

The end.

So, let that be a lesson to you.  When the world is down on you, and you feel like there's no escape, eat poop.