On the 3rd day of the apocalypse
My true love said to me:
Oh look...
Three Hitlers
Two Poles that Shift
And it seems I've become a zombie.
What:
World War III.
Where:
Duh. The world. Like, all of it.
How:
So, once upon a time, Hitler killed lots of Jews. That's why most of the world hates him.
But we need not forget that he also took a puny, beaten down country that was still smarting from the last World War, and took over most of the European landmass with little more than oratory skill and a really creepy mustache.
Now, imagine if someone just like him showed up in the world again. Another "Hitler" taking over Europe. And then imagine if there were 2 more on top of that.
Yep, 3 Hitlers. I figure one of them can take over Eurasia, one can have Africa, and one can go for the Americas.
And meanwhile, in Antarctica, a mustachioed penguin can start heating up the ice cap.
So, we have 3 Hitlers taking over the 3 main landmasses of the world. What do you think they'd do after that? Think they'd be content with their own landmass?
No. No, they would not.
And then it's like a game of Risk. You roll a few dice, blow up a few opposing troops, maybe rape and pillage for a few days or so... you know. Just basic conquest stuff.
Oh, and let's not forget the hate campaigns. These are Hitlers, remember. Pretty sure the victims would be Scientologists, red heads, and anyone who plays Dungeons and Dragons.
Meanwhile, Australia watches all of this and says, "Hey, wait! I'm a landmass too! Why don't I get a hateful, Fascist dictator?"
And everyone kinda snorts into their hand, tries to turn it into a cough and says, "Okay, Australia. You can provide the war wallabies if you want."
How to Survive:
Move to Australia, put on fuzzy, grey ears and climb a eucalyptus tree.
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