On the seventh day of the apocalypse
My true love said to me
Oh look...
Seven Continents Cracking
Six Hour Long Earthquake
Fiiiiiiiive Alieeeeeeeens!!!
Four Dinosaurs
Three Hitlers
Two Poles that Shift
And it seems I've become a zombie.
What:
Haha, did I say continental drift? What I meant was, "Complete Overhaul of the Continental Positioning System."
How:
Read yesterday's event: 6 hour long earthquake. You really think they aren't going to move around a bit?
I'll tell you what, though. The Mississippi River Valley is just waiting to split in half. So all those people who gathered in Kansas City? They now have beach front property. You're welcome.
Meanwhile New Zealand just crashed into Tasmania, and the Tasmanian devils teamed up with the kiwi to create a new species that is a vicious as Taz, and flies like a... oh shoot. Okay, well, they tried. A for effort, mutant species.
Mt. Everest grew even higher, and got SO high that it couldn't support its own weight, shuddered briefly, and then collapsed into a sink hole the size of Russia. And, consequently, over in India, they're their own continent again.
How to Survive:
The only possible thing you can do during all of this is to spend 6 hours playing DDR with the Earth.
And hope you win.
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