December 2012 - Day 9 - Asteroids

On the ninth day of the apocalypse
My true love said to me:
Oh look...
Nine Asteroids
Eight Supernovae
Seven Continents Cracking
Six Hour Long Earthquake
Fiiiiiive Alieeeeeeens!!!
Four Dinosaurs
Three Hitlers
Two Poles that Shift
And it seems I've become a zombie.

What:

Giant globs of rock that interstellar monsters are using for golf.  They missed the eighteenth hole.  Or maybe... we are the eighteenth hole!

Where: 

Too close to home.

How:

So, there are some possible scenarios here.  Either we get hit, or we don't.

Now there's this little pebble that's around 50 meters across that's floating around out there named 2012DA14.  It's supposed to come pretty dang close to the Earth on February 15 of next year.

It won't actually hit the Earth.

But it will pass within the moon's orbit!

There's another one, called 4179 Toutatis, which is over a mile across, and has a sporadic orbit.

That one could hit the Earth.

So, either we get hit or we don't.  If we get beaned with a really big rock, it could hit Yellowstone, which is potentially due for an eruption (more on that on day 15).  That would pretty much be the death of us all.  It could also hit Australia and wallop a dingo.

Let's say we don't get hit.  This object comes 0.09 Lunar Distances away from us and uses its gravity to try to pull us out of orbit.

Well... 50 meters won't do much.  But it'll sure mess the heck out of our oceans.  We might get to see a giant squid as it rises from the depths, fully pissed that the tidal wave that just washed over most of North America rippled its bed, and smacks its tentacles into the ship being used to film Pirates of the Caribbean 7.

Oh, and one other thing.  Pebble of the Stars could hit the moon.  50 meters is a lot bigger to the moon... which also doesn't have an atmosphere to burn it up.  It may leave us with a permanent crescent moon.

How to Survive:

Go find Bruce Willis and ask him why he's not up there nuking the thing.  If he expresses concerns about the nuke giving him cancer, remind him he's already bald.

And then go live on the peak of a mountain where there's less surface area, so the odds of getting hit are lower.