Tuesday, December 11, 2012

December 2012 - Day 11 - Superstorms

On the eleventh day of the apocalypse
My true love said to me:
Oh look...
Eleven Massive Hurricanes
Ten Plagues of Egypt
Nine Asteroids
Eight Supernovae
Seven Continents Cracking
Six Hour Long Earthquake
Fiiiiiiiiive Alieeeeeeeens!!!
Four Dinosaurs
Three Hitlers
Two Poles that Shift
And it seems I've become a zombie.

What:

Ever Seen The Day After Tomorrow?  3 really big hurricanes sweep over the whole world, some guys in Scotland die, Christine from Phantom of the Opera gets her leg sliced open, they battle CG wolves to get her Penicillin, and someone gets their tongue stuck to the Statue of Liberty.

Oh, and some guy who thinks he's Al Gore gives a global warming speech. 

As far as apocalypse movies go, it was really one of the best.

So, let's use that scenario.  Superstorms.

11 of them.

Seriously, The Day After Tomorrow left the entire Southern Hemisphere untouched.  What the heck is with that???  We need more storms for adequate destruction.

How: 

Somewhere between the asteroids and the supernovas, I would imagine.  As we all know from the movie, if Mother Nature feels unbalanced, she will have a doozy of a PMS session and throw a horrible storm.  What better way to upset mother nature than to throw foreign objects at her from space?

How to Survive:

The Day After Tomorrow would have you hole up in a library and burn tax documents for warmth.  Personally, I don't think this'll do the trick.

Now, the Earth itself has homemade places of safety.

Caves!!!

That's right.  When these Superstorms hit, we need to all find our nearest cave that goes pretty far down where the elements can't reach, bring some food and supplies, and whatever you do, don't forget a shovel.

There may be snow.

There may be ice (bring a pickaxe too... it can help if any of the zombies greet you when you come out).

There may be rubble.

There may be a landslide.

There may be a leprechaun with a pot of gold.

Probably not on the leprechaun. 

Either way, be prepared to hole up in a cave for a bit, and then dig yourself out.

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