HAHAHA! You thought I was done, didn't you???
The apocalypse doesn't have 12 days. It has 21.
Sooooo....
On the thirteenth day of the apocalypse
My true love said to me:
Oh look...
A Thirteen Year Nuclear Holocaust
Twelve Decameter Storm Surge
Eleven Superstorms
Ten Plagues of Egypt
Nine Asteroids
Eight Supernovae
Seven Continents Cracking
Six Hour Long Earthquake
Fiiiiiiiive Alieeeeeeens!!!!!
Four Dinosaurs
Three Hitlers
Two Poles that Shift
And it seems I've become a zombie.
What:
Remember back on day three? Competing dictators go after the world? Well... it's been 10 days. The Nukes have started.
How:
Australia is bound to feel left out over not getting a dictator, and will start launching nukes at all 3 of the good-sized land masses, under the pretense of "fighting Hitler."
How to Survive:
Go visit a geneticist, and quickly. Beat the nukes to the punch. Alter your genetic code so that radiation only fuels you, makes you stronger. The options are limitless.
You might grow lizard parts.
You might grow really tall and stomp all over Japan.
You might become a pile of sand that can take physical form.
You might turn metal and shoot lightning out of your hands.
You might turn into a rage monster.
You might grow grasshopper wings and destroy people's crops.
Either way, a nuclear holocaust will only make you stronger, and you should welcome the chaos and destruction.
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