On the nineteenth day of the apocalypse
My true love said to me:
Oh look...
Nineteen Blasts of Sunlight
Eighteen Octodecillion Nanobots
Seventeen Months of Winter
Sixteen Deadly Viruses
Fifteen Super Volcanoes
Fourteen MPH Earth-Spin
Thirteen Year Nuclear Holocaust
Twelve Decameter Storm Surge
Eleven Superstorms
Ten Plagues of Egypt
Nine Asteroids
Eight Supernovae
Seven Continents Cracking
Six Hour Long Earthquake
Fiiiiiiiiive Alieeeeeeeens!!!!
Four Dinosaurs
Three Hitlers
Two Poles that Shift
And it seems I've become a zombie.
What:
Once upon a time the sun hacked up 19 fusion-lugies and roasted Earth.
And we all got really tan.
How to Survive:
It's not that bad, really. I mean, we have solar flares all the time, especially this year. This year and next are in the height of a huge solar cycle that involves tons of flares. The problem isn't from radiation or getting burned by the sun or anything.
The solar flares will heat Earth up a bit, but it's more like a 50 degree winter or a 110 degree summer. Nothing world ending or anything.
Until the crops die.
Seriously, we have air conditioning. We won't die from the heat. But our plants don't have that luxury. Sooo... we won't boil to death, but we will starve to death later.
Wanna survive? Learn to eat like a vulture and prey on the animals that don't have air conditioning either.
Eew.
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