If I were a super villain, why would I do it?

I wish I could have an impact.

My mommy can tell me I've had a huge impact on her life, and my nieces can shower me in love and make me feel quite important, and even my fiancé can tell me I'm wonderful... but it's still just a few people.

I cast my vote today, for the better of the two main candidates (of course!), and voted down an amendment that could very likely result in higher taxes for the rest of us.  I voted for congressmen that were the same party as my preferred presidential candidate in hopes that it would be easier for the government to get things done.

...just like millions of other people.

I have to vote - if everyone felt tiny, felt like their vote didn't count, voter turnout would be so small that there would be no way to represent the will of the people.  If you have an opinion about who should be running the country, you should participate.  I did my duty as a citizen today, and I cast my vote.

...just like millions of other people.

I wish I could do more.  I wish I could take something broken and fix it, and by doing so improve millions of lives.  I don't want to be a helpful member of the masses.  I want to be the one who inspires the masses, the one who convinces them to help.

So what is it that I'm wanting?  What is my "character motivation," then? 

Do I really want to fix broken things?  Or is it something darker?  Am I craving the honor and glory?  The power?  Am I trying to make myself stronger?  Do I fear that my tiny life will be forgotten?

I guess, if I were to be an adequately complex character, the answer would be, "Yes." 

I want to help the world, change it for the better.  I want people to be happy and safe.  I want to end abuse and show every person in the world what it feels like to love unconditionally. 

I want people to listen to me, to respect me.  I want people to believe that I am wise enough to guide them.  I want them to look at how I changed the world and say, "She was an amazing person."

And I don't want to fade away.  How many billions and trillions of lives have been forgotten?  We have a few, thousands, maybe even millions, that we remember, starting with a few Egyptians around 3,000 BC.  And in 5,000 years, how many people lived and died, craving to be remembered, that we will never read a book about?

So, would I be a super hero or a super villain?  I have a craving for influence and glory in my motivations.  But I also have a genuine desire to make things better, not worse.

Maybe I'll just become a misguided hero, face off with a misguided villain, and we can both blow a hole through the Oort cloud.

Oh, but wait.  I have to do something great first.

Darn this small-scale life I lead.