This play was Timon of Athens. It was based on a story told by Lucian, the Ancient Greek satirist, and was about a happy-go-lucky, warm fuzzies, I love the crap out of all of you, here take all my stuff because I love you so much guy named Timon. (That is not TIE-mun, that is tih-MOAN... like Pumba's buddy.) Then Timon finds out that he's been so generous that he's given away all his stuff, and not only is he broke, but he's in debt.
No worries! He's got lots of friends! In deep humility, he explains that he's in a bit of a pickle, and can they spare a little cash?
Friend #1: Ummm... sorry, Timon. See, I've got this thing... yeah, a thing. That's what I have. It's a really expensive thing. And, um, well, see, yeah. No can do. Go try your other friends, because they're in better condition to help than I am.
Friend #2: Needs money? Ummmm... What was that, honey? Oh, sorry, but I've gotta go. Come back next week, okay?
Friend #3: Timon went to #'s 1 and 2 first?! Forsooth! What an outrage! If he'd had any respect for our friendship, of COURSE I would have given him money! I'd have given him all I own. But for this insult? Pah!
As you can see, clearly he had no friends. Just moochers.
What is Timon to do in this situation?
Why, decide he hates the world, of course! He then goes to live in the hills and throw rocks at people.
I mean, seriously. People are jerks. That's just the way the world works. We should therefore all throw rocks at everybody else. The end.
Now, my retelling of this Ancient Greek tale of wisdom and woe and stuff actually does have applicability in real life.
Simply put, as far as today is concerned, Timon is in my head, battling with my normal me for the chance to throw rocks at people.
For example, earlier today a friend wanted to go with me to school. As she put it, going to school with someone was a lot less boring than going alone. What most people would hear upon a statement like that is, "Hey! Let's ride to school together, friend! I love you so much!" And, of course, I did hear that statement. But then, in walks Timon. He throws a rock at me and hits me in the head. All I can hear after that is, "I just invited myself on your car ride to campus. No, I'm not going to ask. I just expect you to give me a ride so you can entertain me, slave." At which point, being the victim of my own good nature that I am, and of course, for the sake of decency, unable to refuse to give her a ride, I bow humbly and say, "Yes, my liege." Then, while she's in the shower, I decide I need to pick something up from work and laugh maniacally to myself that I'm leaving without her, and I'm not going to wait for her to primp and prim her beauty self.
I step outside. The fresh air hits me. I realize I am a jerk. I go to work. I park in Senior Management Parking, because today, I am the Queen. I pick up my stuff. I get back in the car, listening to my Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack (niiiiiice, peaceful, feel-good music), and I realize how much I utterly love my friend, and I really DO want her company in the car on the way to class. *facepalm* Okay, breathe. Calm down.
Once at home, I come in and my friend, from the goodness of her heart, kindly asks me how my test went, fully believing I had ditched her while she was in the shower. I tell her that I had just gone to work to pick some things up, and I haven't gone to campus yet, hoping I didn't hurt her feelings. We drive to campus, and I plan to drop her off as close to her destination as I can get her. She deserves far more penance than that, but it's a start. As I'm dropping her off, I start to feel Timon emerge again, this time, because of the stupid people in cars around me.
Actually, the people were perfectly fine. They were obeying every last rule of the road and of dropping passengers off with perfect pleasantness and happy, smiling faces, unaware that a meerkat-shaped demon in a chiton was chucking metaphorical boulders at their faces. They just weren't getting out of their car fast enough. And by fast enough, I mean they weren't shot out by rocket-launchers.
Then I took my exam. Then I went home. Somewhere, in the drive, I started thinking about such volatile topics as driving and feminism. Not sure what provoked that (actually, I'm pretty sure nothing provoked that), but it was storming around my mind while I drove.
Once at home, after violently stabbing my microwave dinner's plastic cover with a fork (the instructions DO say to poke holes in it), I sat down to eat my lunch. Right in front of me, on the table, was a handout from church. "Charity suffereth long," it reminded me.
Oh yeah. I determined, just yesterday, that I wasn't going to become a wreck this week. It was time to stop letting Timon have his way with me, and actually bring my little demon under control.
Time to bean him with a rock!
No, no, no. That's not nice. Time to do something nice.
I started writing this blog entry. It's amazing how cathartic writing is. Out flows bitterness, leaving a big space that's just waiting for me to fill it with whatever I choose to put inside. I think I shall fill my space with a pony... and a sparkly star... and bunnies... and cucumbers... and a Christmas ham... and a backhoe... and a paper bag with a face drawn on it... and boots... and lemon bars... and a AA battery... and a ceramic bear... and a real bear... and a Trans Am... and Lynnae... and cherry limeade... and a furry jacket that's reeeeeeeally soft... and a couch... and my phone bill... and a clock... and a tissue... just one tissue... not a used tissue... and pepper spray... and a statue of Mt. Rushmore... and a dragon... and a dagger... and snowflake pajamas... and grapefruit-flavored lip balm... and an airplane... and a book... and wallpaper... and toothpaste... and a pillow... and a banana... and a leopard-printed neck massage thing... and finally, HAPPINESS!!! SPARKLY, SHINY HAPPINESS!!!
Essentially, today I got a harsh reminder that it's not okay to be moody. It's fine to have moods, certainly, but having an unpleasant one is no excuse for being a veritable storm cloud that spits rain all over everybody else. I've known this, and I used to abide by it, but somewhere in the last semester I let it slip. Time to regain the parts of myself I really liked.
The end.
By the way, to all those who were forced to be in my sulky, angry presence during the first half of today, I really am sorry. I'm nice again. I promise. And from now on, I'll behave, even under massive stress.
Fortunately, I was gone all morning and far too tired to bother communicating with much of anyone for several hours after coming home, so... I still think you're a happy storm cloud!
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