Let's get into this.
Money:
This is probably the biggest, most obvious one. Whenever money gets involved, corruption isn't far behind.
A few weeks ago, someone close to me went on a little rant about the widow's mite, and how that parable is used to exploit money out of people. It was funny, because I'd never personally thought of it that way, but when she mentioned that, I thought about how, yeah, I'd seen that happen. I've heard people in Sunday School talk about how the Lord specifically criticized those who gave what looked like a lot, but was actually a small percentage, and then went on to exalt the woman who gave all. Therefore, we need to give all for our offering to be acceptable to the Lord.
Personally, that's not one of my issues. I've always seen that parable, not as an exhortation to give all, but as a lesson on not judging people's contributions (whatever form they take, not just money). It's not about how much impact they have on the world, but on the individual context of the person. And not just in religion - in life. A dandelion out of the yard given by my 2 year old means a lot more to me than a bouquet of lilies by someone trying to kiss my ass. (For the record, I'm not likely the keep the dandelion beyond the, "Aw! Thank you! Let's put it in some water," grace period, but it's still super sweet.)
The money issue I have a much bigger problem with is - of course - the one I believed for a really long time. It's close to prosperity gospel, but not as blatant.
In prosperity gospel, you're encouraged to "give your last dollar to the Lord," (and by "Lord" we mean the religion/pastor, and his private jet) and the Lord will multiply your offering if you are righteous. It's an act of faith, and from it prosperity will come to you.
In the LDS church, it's presented a lot differently, but the principle is the same. Instead of your "last dollar" it's 10% of your income - a flat fee. But it holds that if you give 10%, even when you are financially destitute, the Lord will bless you, sometimes in ways you don't recognize... like more self control in your spending, or inspiration on how to better position your investments. Sacrament meetings and Sunday School lessons are filled to the brim with anecdotes of people who weren't paying their tithing, faced financial ruin, and then saved themselves by that leap of faith. Suddenly rain fell on their crops, the lost job turned into a wildly successful business venture, or Great Grandpa Stu died, leaving them exactly the inheritance they needed to pay what they owed on their mortgage before foreclosure, down to the very penny.
Tithing is a principle in the Bible, but after a good deal of research, I realized my church does it... at best, wrong. At worst, exploitatively.
The anecdotes are exploitative. They lock tithe-payers into the fear that if they stop and/or reassess in a way that better fits their current financial situation by lessening payments, their financial situation will get even worse.
Also, the temple recommend requirement is exploitative. You can't "partake in salvation" unless you've paid your dues. The counter argument to that, of course, is that "tithing is between you and God," and literally no one will audit you, but when left to their own conscience, most Mormons tend to err on the side of doing more, not less. And the anecdotes make you afraid to give less. Either way, money shouldn't touch "essential" worship with a ten foot pole.
We couldn't pay our bills, and I was staring in the face of running out of money. I had always paid my tithing faithfully, and things weren't letting up. So I started asking, "What does God actually want me to be paying here?" Trust in my church and their financial practices had already been broken, and I'd already switched from paying into the tithing fund to paying into the humanitarian fund. (Honestly, even before the SEC fined them for fraud, I just felt sick inside every time I put money into the tithing fund, but I forced myself to do it anyway because "faith." Redirecting it to the humanitarian fund felt like a step in the right direction... until I saw the fine-print on the donation slip that said while they'd do their best to put funds where they were indicated, ultimately all donations were their property, and they'd spend them as they saw fit.)
When in doubt, find the context.
I turned to the Bible, and found the passage where "tithing" came from. It's Mosaic law, and it's included specifically to feed the hungry. It never says anything about 10%, just "first fruits of the harvest." The word "tithe" means tenth, but was a translation imposed later, and not part of the original law.
And look, I get it. A church needs to cover its operating expenses. That makes sense. Tithing is a good way to do that. But the LDS Church is a billion dollar entity, and has more than enough side hustles to cover its expenses. And it has an entirely separate fund for feeding the hungry that we're asked to make a monthly contribution to.
My husband and I sat down and discussed what to do. We agreed we'd stick with the 10%, but it was going to be 10% of our increase, and not of our income. Food, housing, school supplies, transportation, life. Those things were getting deducted. We were making an annual contribution, based on our increase, not a bi-weekly contribution based on our income. And we're making it to humanitarian causes, not church operating expenses.
Then my husband got a raise.
And a $750 bonus.
I sound like I'm being sarcastic, but seriously. That's literally what happened.
Anyway, the big red flag of money is one to look at closely. If your religion is requiring financial contributions for you to fully worship, or using fear to convince you to pay up, or telling you that by paying them money your finances will improve, it might be time to step back, and take a harder look at your church - and their financial practices - than you were before.
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