I should make a list of all the idiotic things I thought before the twins were born.
For example: "I'll have so much more time when I'm not working 40 hours a week! Yes, motherhood is a lot of work, but I'll be at home, so I can multitask."
I'm multitasking right now. I'm blogging with one hand while I hold my son's pacifier in his mouth with the other. I'm also holding my daughter's pacifier. Yes, two pacifiers with one hand. My pacifier hand is also being used to massage my son's tummy, because he's in process of having his first poop in 3 days, and he's not happy about how his intestines feel.
And now they're both fussing and I can no longer blog with one hand.
You want to know what else is multitasking? Rocking a car seat in the bathroom because you only have one baby swing and it's occupied by the other baby, who is also watching you do your business on the toilet, because you had to put them somewhere while you go to the bathroom, and since all 3 of you are pooping right now, you might as well make it a party.
Okay, my husband is home, holding one baby, while the other one has finally managed to get to sleep without dropping his pacifier. These moments are sacred. I got the laundry folded and now I can (hopefully) finish this blog post.
Anyway, what I'd like to do is go back about 5 weeks, & give my younger self a quick reality check.
I'd tell her that feeding a baby is not a quick, 15 minute deal, especially when there are 2 of them. Feeding times take a minimum of an hour every time (frequently longer), and there are 6-8 of them each day. Add to that an hour or two worth of time spent changing diapers each day, and you end up spending more time than your full time job just on their digestive systems. Also, you're doing this at 3:00 AM. And on weekends.
Add to that bonding time, comforting sore tummies, replacing dropped pacifiers, washing endless amounts of spit up covered clothes, blankets, and burp rags, washing bottles, bathing babies every few days, and babies that just plain don't want to be put down, and you're lucky to get some toast made here and there.
Another feeding time is coming soon... but not yet! I'm going to take a quick shower!
Oh wait... baby girl is threatening to go hysterical, & if she's hungry, there's not much Daddy can do about that. Looks like the shower will need to wait.
(Note: I'd also tell my 5 weeks ago self that she'll love this crazy job WAY more than the day-in, day-out of 40 hours a week at a desk. Little to no breaks is worth the payoff.)