Buying Flowers for a Man

Alberto's dad died.

I was really impressed by how upbeat he's been all day.  He talked to the distributors with enthusiasm, and still laughed with the office jokes.  I don't know if he was close to his dad, but either way, death of immediate family warrants flowers.

And, of course, as the assistant, getting flowers was my job.

Have you ever bought flowers for a guy before?  It's a little... weird.  I chose Target's miniscule floral department because I also needed to get a card for everyone to sign, and it was a nice one-stop.  I was presented with a vast variety of choices.  I could get him pink tulips, pink daisies, pink orchids, a varied bouquet of pink roses, pink daisies and pink hydrangeas, or the loudest yellow/orange gerber daisy bouquet I had ever seen.

I looked over my options, chewed my lip for a second, then shrugged and muttered, "He's from Mexico.  He'll like yellow and orange."

After that bout of politically correct stereotyping, I skipped off to the greeting card session to find a sympathy card that wasn't nauseatingly cheesy, running sandpaper over open wounds of the heart, or pink.  I settled on a green card that said something to the effect of, "We're with you during this time," and went to get a vase. 

The vase I ended up selecting was a plain, clear glass cylinder.  Really... it was between the $3 cylinder or the $15 blown glass with the ocean waving across it.  And... well... flowers for a guy, remember?  I couldn't really picture Alberto cherishing the ocean vase enough to justify 5x the cost.

The card made it quietly around the office as everyone gave him their sympathy and well wishes.  Then it came to the part that wasn't my job as assistant: presenting the gesture. 

We couldn't find his manager to give it to him.  Well... technically his manager, Dan, just got back from a 4 day conference in Atlanta, Orlando and Jacksonville, and was home sleeping.  We don't begrudge him the afternoon off.

So, we got the other Dan (who is not his manager, but is named Dan and therefore the best we could do) to present the card and flowers.

I sat across the cubicle wall from Alberto and listened to the interaction.

"Hey," Other Dan said, in a tender, sympathy laden voice. 

I smiled.  Yep.  Other Dan was definitely a good choice to give him the flowers.

I heard the vase clink as Other Dan presented the flowers, and then his voice spoke again.  "These are not for a social advancement."

**facepalm**

And that is how sympathy works here.