I'll keep you...

Have you ever wanted to say something, but you can't?  You can't say it because there's no way to say it without guaranteeing the person you're talking will not seeing it?  Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but I don't really want to make a large segment of my every day a very awkward experience, so instead of telling you a story about my life, I'll just tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who got a mad crush on someone she probably shouldn't have gotten a mad crush on.  Now, don't get me wrong, he was a great guy!  Not even the "bad boy" type (that was her other forbidden crush) or anything like that.  He just... wasn't exactly... well, eligible, and you can interpret that however you want.  Really, fill in the blanks.  It'll probably make the story more interesting.

One day, while she was inwardly sighing to herself (those pitiful "holy crap your eyes are beautiful" kind of sighs), she discovered that alas!  He had become very distracted by shiny things.  Try as she might, she just couldn't get those eyes of his to see anything but the shiny thing... and oh was it shiny!  She thought about telling herself that it was so shiny that he had been blinded to her awesomeness, but that was stupid, because she knew better than to crush on him in the first place, and had shamelessly disregarded common sense in favor of having someone special in her life.  Granted, she was the only one of the two of them who knew about it, but it was still special in its own way.

Gosh, that sounds creepy.

Anyway, on that day, when she realized he was forever out of her reach, her little girl's heart broke.  All was meaningless!  She decided to give it all up.  She would no longer work!  She would no longer go to school!  She fled to the mountains, bringing only a year's supply of popsicles and the pieces of her broken heart.  There she stayed, until she had built a tree house out of popsicle sticks, where she lived out the rest of her life.  Alone.  All alone.

But wait!  She was not fully alone!  For her best friend took pity on her!  Filled with deep compassion for her plight, her best friend dropped off some supplies to the tree house on a monthly basis.

The end.

Go ahead.  Interpret that.