Saddles don't need parking brakes.

My car broke.  I went to get it inspected ($25) so I could pay taxes on it ($109), and it failed.  Why?  Cracked windshield and broken parking brake.  So I got a new windshield.  $150.  I went to get my parking brake adjusted.  $20... oh wait.  It's not a simple adjustment.  The cables are completely rusted out.  Those parts are dealer only.  Make that $170.  While I was picking up the parts (I saved quite a bit of time by getting them myself) my driver's side turn signal went out.

Thanks, car.  Just spit in my face, why don't you?

Oh, and my shoe broke.  The sole completely came off.

Nevermind, car.  Sorry, I blamed you.  Thanks, FORCES OF THE FREAKING UNIVERSE!!!!

I tried to fix the turn signal myself, but I couldn't figure out how to get the battery out of the way without breaking something.  So, today when I went to get the parts installed that I picked up Saturday, I asked them to replace the turn signal.  They were nice and did it for free.

Oh, but only one of the cables can be replaced.  The caliper on the rear passenger side is broken.  That needs to be replaced.  Another $100ish.  No time to do that today, which means I'm going to have to go down to the DMV tomorrow and buy an extension since my license plate expires today ($6... assuming they don't slap a fine on my butt for driving with expired plates first).

As I was driving away, one of the guys from the shop next to the mechanic's shop stopped me.  "Hey hey!" he yelled, waving his hands.  "Stop!"

I stopped.

He came up to the window.  "Did you know your headlight is out?"

Really?

REALLY???

I just looked at him.  "Nuh uh."

"Yeah.  Seriously.  It's out."

I got out of my car.  It was, in fact, burned out.

I screamed.  I stomped my feet.  I fake-kicked my car, and then because the impulse felt good I actually kicked my car... hard.

The 3 guys out there laughed at me and my hissy fit.

But really, I was getting desperate.  What else could possibly go wrong with my car?  I was already over $600 in the hole from car and graduation related expenses.

But, I have to say, there's something about a girl with a broken car that attracts men faster than Jessica Alba holding a peach pie.  I have never, not once, changed my own tire.  Every time I start, I'm somewhere between the first lug nut and the fifth before some guy randomly shows up and does it for me.  My car needs a jump?  All I have to do is open the hood and stand there looking helpless, and within 30 seconds I have a set of jumper cables and a working battery to attach them to.  Part of me is a little disappointed I haven't gotten to change a tire by myself, but if I'm being honest, I really appreciate it.  It's always sort of thrilling to see how complete strangers will just stop to help another complete stranger.  It makes the world a very sun-shiney place. :)

Anyway, this was no exception.  I'd watched Billy (yes, that was his real name... I have used it for the sake of his anonymity) take out my battery and replace the turn signal, and I watched another guy (Shane) replace my other headlight a while ago, so I was 87% confident in my ability to do it on my own this time... after I spent like $12 on a new headlight.  The other 13% was the knowledge that if it wasn't as easy as Billy made it look, I'd stand there afraid to break it if I touched it.

But, the three guys saved me a lot of time, stress and $12.  They all got together, pulled out my battery, played with my headlight, and then one of them was like, "Oh!  It's one of those!  I think I have one!" and he ran into the back of his shop and came out with a new one.  Then they fixed it.

I gave them all my best, "I was a damsel in distress and you saved me, my heroes!" flirty thank you that I could so they would know I was perfectly thrilled for their help, happily accepted a business card from one of them, and then drove home to see if I could possibly buy an extension for my registration online.

The answer to that is no, but at least now I have new lights, a new windshield, new parking brake cables, and will soon have a new parking brake caliper.  And I learned what a caliper was.  I can now add that to knowing what happens when your radiator, your power steering fluid, your brakes, your alternator, your crank shaft sensor, your starter, and your ignition switch break.  All of these car repairs I have learned from driving Nemo/The Hatchback of Notre Dame and the WTM.  I don't think I invested any money into fixing the Asphyxiator, so I didn't really learn anything from that one in the short semester and a half that I drove it, but my mechanical knowledge is still increasing!

But really, I'd rather just ride a horse.

I wonder if my work would install a hitching post... or possibly let me release an equine in the gardens to graze during my shift.