Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I am in Vegas

That's right, suckers!  I'm in VEGAS!!!

Where are YOU right now?  Provo, Utah?  How lame is that!

I'm sitting here in a black, leather chair, surrounded by slot machines, with a bar/spa combo about 15 feet away to my right.  Yes, it's a bar/spa COMBO.  As in, you can get hammered on martinis while somebody massages your feet.

There are a couple hundred people, just in the same room that I am in.  They're coming and going at an alarming rate, as though sitting still is a sheer impossibility in such a place is this.

Every now and then the floor will rumble from the deep bass sounds coming through the walls.

Doesn't Sin City sound exciting?!

Well, in case my reader is feeling lame at the boringness of their life while I'm in Vegas, allow me to shed some more light on the situation.

That deep bass sound?  It comes from the rumbling of airplanes taking off.  People are coming and going because that's what they do in airports.  Yep.  I'm in an airport.  My back is sore from the 3 hour flight, my hair makes me want to sing If I Only Had a Brain, I'm wearing a psychedelic pink shirt, hiking shorts and heels, and I have another hour and twenty minutes of this layover before I get another hour of flight.  Oh, and I'm pretty sure that bar/spa combo is portable.

I entertained myself for a while by standing behind people on the slot machines, watching them lose money.

Vegas is the only airport I've ever seen with slot machines.

You know, if you hit the wrong button while typing, Vegas becomes Vegan.  Just something to consider.

One hour and thirteen minutes left.

I think I'm gonna go get some sort of dessert... because I'm in a desert... and when you are in a desert, the only thing to do is add an extra "s" to the middle of it and turn it into dessert.

Ha. Ha. Ha.  I just saw a girl with one converse on.  It was a high top.  The other foot had one of those cast/boot things on it.  That's a REALLY high top.

I think this airport blocks facebook.  It's a pity, because I really want to spam people.  You people should realize how lucky you are.

Yes, I think I'll get dessert now.

**Later**

It staggers the mind that in the city known best for sin and decadence, one would be utterly unable to find a decent piece of pie.  I had to settle for frozen yogurt.

In other ways, however, sin and decadence did not disappoint.  While struggling with 2 bags in one hand and a cup of frozen yogurt in the other, I dropped my suitcase on the floor.  The gentleman who was passing by stopped to give me a look that clearly said, "Get that piece of **** out of my way, you little ****."  As I was sitting up from getting said dropped suitcase, I caught a dude staring down the front of my shirt.

Well, time to board.  Oh, Utah.  How I miss you...

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