*Twitch* *Twitch*

Alright, it's official.  I'm breaking down.  I figured this semester would show me my limits, and, well... my limit was today.

What happened?  Well, I'll tell you.

So, luckily, my babysitting got cut down from 5 days a week to 3, making Tuesdays and Thursdays sweet havens of relief for my sanity.  This was especially helpful, because this week is... well... it's this week.  In addition to my regular readings (and the subsequent daily writing assignments and quizzes on them), I also had a paper due, a midterm, and an outline/bibliography for one of my 10 page research papers (which means I have to do a significant amount of the research, and figure out not only what I'm going to write about, but what I'm going to write.  Sounds hard, right?  But, it gets better.  This research paper is starting from the "scratch" point of no topic whatsoever, because I decided my topic is cliché and lame.  Yeah, eat that, life).

So, I started planning.  Write paper on Saturday, read up on Islamic side of the Crusades story Saturday night and hopefully identify a new topic, study for midterm Monday night, take midterm Tuesday morning, go to library between midterm and class to come up with books on my new topic, go to class, go to work, do my England history reading homework/writing assignment, go to bed.  That's just the first two days of the week, then I have to fit the outline/bibliography into Wednesday and Thursday morning, because it's due at 1:35 on Thursday.

Hectic, yes.  But, doable.

Actually, no.

Why?

Because of life.

Saturday - I got started late.  I forgot it was conference week while I was doing my planning, so I had less time.  But, my favorite nerd saved me and threw me a wild and raving nerd party!  (A nerd party consists of two people sitting on a couch, ignoring each other, doing their homework.)  I didn't get a topic figured out, but I did get my paper written.

Monday - I got my daily reading/writing work done while babysitting, went to class, went to work... and got a call from Clarke.
"Hey, Lauren is sick.  Can you babysit tomorrow?"

Okay, rethink.  Caro will be back by 10:30 - I still have time to take the test before class, and if I study REALLY hard tonight, I'll still have a little bit of time left to come up with a topic - and I can do a late night in the library.

Then I get home.  Time to study.  My computer is broke.  I have no access to the Internet.

Dear life,

I HATE YOU!!!!

So, it's off to Kunkee's apartment, with the desperate plea: "Please fix my netbook!"  I hoped it would be a matter of simple nerd magic, but alas, it took until midnight.  I made it to bed at 1:00, and got up 6 hours later, which was better than the night before, in which I got 4 hours of sleep.

So, it's now Tuesday.  I'm running on sleep deprivation.  I have to study, choose a topic, and get to the library, while simultaneously entertaining, feeding, and changing the cheese-bomb diapers of my niece.

So, I'm lying on the giant bean bag, only semi-conscious, trying to keep awake enough to make sure Sophie stays out of trouble.  She's behind me, playing in the toy box.

THWAP!

A hard, plastic toy flew over my head and slammed onto my lip... followed by a giggle.
Ouch.
That wasn't very nice.
The baby abused me.

Begin breakdown.


I started bawling, crying out, "I can't handle it!  I can't do this anymore!"  You know, the kind of stuff you cry to either your mother or a therapist... except that I was saying it to the baby.  "Soooophiiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!  I caaaaaaan't!  I caaaaaaan't!  Bwwaaaaaaaaaa!"


And here I was supposed to be the adult.


But no, baby Sophie stepped up to the plate.  She climbed up on the bean bag and laid her cheek on my chest, essentially saying, "It's okay, Auntie Banana.  I feel that way sometimes too, especially after I dribble drool into my diaper and get a rash from my chin to my butt cheeks."  It was very sweet, and a truly comforting experience.


Fortunately, I survived that half of the morning.  Then Caro came home (with donuts!), and I left to go study.  


But, the break down already happened.  Now... now that I'm over the edge, well... nobody knows what might happen next.


For example, a while ago, I ordered Jurassic Park.  It got here today!  I opened my package ("PACKAGE!  I GOT MAIL!  Ooh!  I got lots of mail!  OHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!!!!!") and saw the pretty cover.  Then I pulled the DVD case off, and saw a picture of a dinosaur.


Aubry was the only one unlucky enough to be present.


"Aubry!  Look!  It's a DINOSAUR!  There's a DINOSAUR on my movie!!!  Heeheeheeheehee!  Oh boy!  I can't wait to watch the dinosaurs!  I love dinosaurs!"


Seriously, the last time a tyrannosaurus rex got me THAT excited, I was five.


But really, I do love dinosaurs.


OOH!  And guess what!  I GET FREE LUNCH AT WORK TODAY!!!  Yesterday I got free hot dogs, but today it's PULLED PORK!!!  Yes, me!  I'm feeding you pulled pork today, and IT'S FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!  Ohboyohboyohboyohboy!!!!  


Hopefully, I don't run in circles and smack into the wall.  


Nah, that wouldn't happen!


We hope.