When in the course of human events...

Today I saw a status posted on Facebook:

"When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

Of course, the guy who posted this status never "declared the causes" which impeled him to support secession.

You want to know what's worse than that?  The first comment on the post said, "OK who is this quote from or is it you ???????"

Yeah.  He came up with that himself.  Oh, but wait... it sounds so familiar!  I know I've heard that somewhere before.

**Gasp!!!**  Jimmy!  You're ripping off Flo Rida, aren't you!!!

Seriously, lady.  Declaration of Independence.  Founding document for our nation.  Hear of it?

Anyway, 'twould seem this is in response to the recent movement of secession that's been stirring among the reeeeally far right wing lately.  Apparently there are quite a few petitions floating around, requesting peaceful withdrawal from the USA. 

And then there are petitions requesting those who signed the afore mentioned petitions get exiled.  Or deported.

Just curious... deported to where?

But yeah.  Secession.  It's a big deal.

Ummmm... hate to break it to you guys, but the last time this happened, about 750,000 people got shot, stabbed, blown up, burned alive, or otherwise kicked the bucket in a less-than-serene manner.  (Numbers from an April 12, 2012 article in the New York Times... which means I'm not just pulling a random death toll out of my butt.  So ha.  Look at me, citing my sources like a good little historian.  Geez, you'd think I was still in school or something.  Note to self: nobody cares on a blog.)

Anyway, point being, we... uh... kinda already addressed the issue.  And you know what the answer was?

No.

Freak, no.

Now, in order for one of these petitions to even get acknowledged, they have to gain 25,000 signatures.

Texas has 82,000.

Louisiana has 30,000.

(Source! Numbers from The Philadelphia Inquirer, article dated today)

So, now the White House has to respond to Texas and Louisiana.  Pretty sure I know what they're going to say:  lol.

Now, granted, Texas can legally secede.  They're the only state in the union that can do it, but The Republic of Texas maintained that right when they joined the Union.  So they're probably lol-ing right back.

I mean, we've got Puerto Rico's people asking for statehood now.  If Texas peaces out, we don't have to change the flag.  Maybe these petitioners are onto something!

There's another issue to consider, though.  Yes, we're in a tough spot, financially, as a country.  And yes, the popular vote was more or less sliced right in the middle during the most recent election (50.1% to 48.4%, according to the Huffington Post).  But really.  We are not at the hands of a tyrannical government.  The USA is not in the same place the British Colonies were 236 years ago.  Ever read past that first little piece of the Declaration of Independence?  Ever read the causes for secession?

Some prime selections:
* Refusing to pass laws to accommodate large bodies of people, unless those people would give up the right of representation.
Nobody has asked us to give up our right of representation.  We still hold elections, and the majority still rules.
* Calling meetings in locations far enough away from where public records are kept that the people at said meetings don't have access to their documents, to "fatigue" them into compliance.
It's basically cutting political opponents off from necessary and public information to make opposing him difficult.  We haven't seen this at all.
* Repeatedly dissolving Representative Houses for opposing the king.
We haven't even seen this once, much less repeatedly. 
* Obstructing Judicial system by refusing to assent to laws the even establish said system.
We have a pretty solid Judicial system already in place.  Yes, we see corruption some times, but there hasn't been any attempt to subvert or destroy the whole system.
* Making judges dependent on the king's will for tenure and salaries.
Nope.  None of that.  Once they're in, they're in for life, and the president can't change their salaries.  They don't have to please him.
* Sent "swarms" of soldiers to occupy civilian quarters and made the people responsible for feeding them.
* Kept standing armies among civilians in times of peace without assent of the people.
* Holding "mock" trials for soldiers who murder civilians to protect the soldiers from punishment.
* Cutting off foreign trade.
Not taxing.  Cutting off.  Like, with warships, blockades, etc.
* Taking away charters, abolishing laws of the colonies, and altering the fundamental forms of government (in our case, it would be state laws/constitutions altered by the federal government.  Nope.  Haven't seen that either.)
*"...plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people"
Sorry, y'all, but that was a hurricane.  You can't blame the government for Sandy.  Act of God.  It's a legal term.
And plenty more.

This is about half of the complaints against King George.  A few of the complaints listed are legitimate issues today.  For example, refusing to assent to laws necessary for the public good.  One could argue that's going on, but then people who don't like this or that law, or think this or that law should be instituted, will always be arguing that.  But the majority of them?  No.

Let me point out a couple of things:

1.) Barack Obama is not King George.
2.) The Federal Government of the USA is not the British Government of 1776. 

Hate to break it to you guys, but things aren't as bad as you're making them out to be.  We're not under military rule, and we're not dying under the thumb of a tyrant ruler. 

Our government was built for this.  Are we in a bad spot?  Fine, in 2 years we'll get to change out a third of the Senate and the entire House of Representatives.  Two years after that, another third of the Senate, the entire House again, and the executive branch as well.

So, remember, people.  We already discussed the issue of secession once.  And by "discussed," I mean, "blew up the southern half of the nation and torched Georgia."  Things are a little stickier, now.  It's not a geographical region wanting to secede.  It's a social movement, with people feeling one way and their next door neighbors feeling another.  We can't afford another Civil War, especially not in the current geography-less environment.  How would you pick a side?  Where would the armies camp? 

Come on, people, relax.  It was just an election.  Give it 4 more years, and you can have a whole new issue to freak out over!

Warm, fuzzy, fluffy, sparkly snow. :)

I don't know if I'll ever understand why suicide rates skyrocket this time of the year.

Okay, yes, days are shorter and darker, and if we really wanted to live in 10 degree weather we'd all move to Canada.

But really!  This time of year is all about curling up in front of a warm fire, wrapped in a blanket with a mug of cocoa and a slice of pumpkin pie. 

This time of year is all about cinnamon and cloves.

It's about either building snowmen, or, if playing in the cold isn't really your style, it's about reading Calvin and Hobbes snowmen cartoons.

Now, I'm living in student housing still, and I don't have a fireplace.  So, I'm improvising.  I'm curled up on the spot of the couch that my laptop warmed up for me, wrapped in a blanket, drinking vanilla-caramel cocoa, with my feet on a heating pad.

[tangent]A heating pad was the best small household item I ever bought!  I am a firm believer that no female should ever be without one.[/tangent]

Warm.

Fuzzy.

Fluffy.

Sparkly.

SNOW!!!!!!

And what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving?  Besides cocoa, cinnamon, heating pads, fireplaces, and snow?

Well, I'm thankful that I'm healthy again.  Still coughing, but I have all the energy I need to do whatever I want, and my voice is back enough to belt out a song or two in the car before it starts getting scratchy again.

I'm thankful the heater in my car works really well, and I had a wonderfully comfortable drive out into the country to see the snowy world.

I'm thankful for all the people who have pitched in, or offered to pitch in, helping me with my wedding prep.  I really feel like I'm on top of it, and I'll be able to get it all done in time.

I'm thankful I'm having a wedding to be prepping for. ^_^

And I think that will do for now.

'Tis the season!!!

Back in 2010, when I first started my blog, I spent November listing things I was grateful for.

I didn't do it in 2011. I wasn't a very grateful little shmrp in 2011.

Well, now it's 2012. It's a new year! (Okay, it's actually the end of the year. Whatever. Details, details.) Anyway, I'd like to do it again this year. Not every day like last year, but at least a couple times a week.

So! Here's what I'm thankful for.

1.) Obvious first: my fiancé. Duh. There is nobody in this universe who could be with a guy like him & not be thankful for it. (Cue either "aaawwww!!!" Or "eeewwww," depending on your personal tolerance for sentimental, mushy crap.)

2.) Wedding binders are now obsolete. PINTEREST, BABY!!!

3.) I have a song called Misery Business stuck in my head, as opposed to one called Baby, Payphone, or This is Why I'm Hot.

4.) I saw Chris Taney today. For about 2 seconds as he drove by. And he still made it epic.

5.) Tonight promises to involve nachos. Like, REAL nachos. Not the Velveeta on a corn chip crap.

6.) I never said I was going to do 10 thankfuls in a post.

My new toy

A while ago, I was showing off TM Publishing's up and coming online magazine to a friend.  He returned the favor and showed me a project he was working on, BYU Hitlist.  It's this little website where you just click a button.  Every time you click a grain of rice gets donated to some starving children's fund.

Sounds great, right?

But it gets better!  Every few thousand hits, somebody wins a prize.  All you have to do is sit their, numbly clicking the button and hope you're one of the lucky ones.

I mean, you have to prove you're a human being, of course, and occasionally answer market research questions, but really!  It's a great toy.  And we are now about 7,000 clicks away from the next prize giveaway. 

I think I could waste my entire workday on this stupid site.

I'M REACTING!!! I HAVE AN OPINION AND I'M REACTING!!!!

Apparently I have a large number of politically conservative friends.

And they are all whining on Facebook.

Like, a lot.

Disclaimer: You don't actually have to read the following list.  This is just a selection of the first few comments I found on Facebook upon logging in. Just skip the examples and go straight to my opinions. 

Oh, but you may miss the really controversial opinion tucked into the list of comments.

I quote:
"Obama is a Sith Lord in a suit."  
"Can't say I'm surprised citizens think happiness comes from opaque promises and living beyond your means... I'm just disappointed there are SO many of them."
"Goodbye America!"
"Welcome to Obamanation.  Bend over and kiss your @$$ goodbye!"
"Democracy is dead!"
"I'm not a crier, but I instantly burst into tears when I heard who is going to run the country I love for the next 4 years."
"I'm scared for my children."
"49% of America, you're idiots and I hate you.  I hope we can still be friends."
"First time in my life I'm ashamed to be an American." [please... I felt that the instant we invaded Iraq and destroyed over a hundred thousand American and Iraqi lives with nothing more than fabricated provocation... weapons of mass destruction my fluffy toesocks.  Oh wait, that's right.  After we got there we were "freeing the Iraqi people."  I forgot.  Need to keep up to date on the latest propaganda.  Think I'm wrong?  Look up Casualties of the Iraq War, and then tell me we were bettering and/or saving lives by what we did.  Please, show me I'm wrong; I'd like to believe in my nation's purpose again.  But when you do, make sure you use legitimate evidence and don't just spout out the propaganda we get berated with.]
"Time to take a big traveling trip, I think it'll take about 4 years who's with me?"
"Well, the good news is that the hour I was spending every day reading political articles can now be spent on something more productive!"
"America, you just made a hell of yourself, congratulation!"
"Man, what a frustrating and disappointing night... I just realized I am all out of Klondike bars!!!"
"i think i am about to cry. seriously."
"Noooooooo!!! (enough said)"
"Well, congrats pres.  Don't forget to thank ur color." (from a Vietnamese girl)
     Comment: "Well, he definitely can't thank his presidential skills."
     Comment: "If there are any."
     Comment: "Ooooooo snap"
"why don't we just hand ourselves on a silver platter to china. like 'here you own us anyway, oh and iran, they want in? sure!'"
"Horrified."
"Wow, America.  I guess you just like being bankrupt."
"When life gives you Obama, make brownies."

Other disclaimer: You can start reading again here.

Relax, people.  The apocalypse is only 46 days away, and that's not even the end of Obama's current presidency.  We're all about to go up in smoke and suffer the fate the Mayans declared for us.

You know, everybody says the Mayans predicted the end of the world on December 21, 2012, but nobody ever said what that end would entail.   I have my hopes up for dinosaur zombies.

Back to the topic at hand, I voted for Romney, in case anybody is wondering.  Personally, I think Obama is a brilliant orator with the leadership abilities of a squash casserole. 

I have to wonder, though.  When 98% of my friends on Facebook are REALLY pissed that Obama won, all of whom were touting their "I voted" stickers, does that just mean I have a lot of conservative friends and a limited circle, or does it mean something is amok with the voting system?

Hmmm... I think I feel an enthralling new conspiracy theory coming on.

Granted... almost all of my friends are from either Utah or Missouri, and Romney won both of those states, soooo.... yeah.

But no.  I'd rather think the whole thing was rigged by the maniac controlling Obama (who is actually a brilliant politician who began his career by controlling Andorra - a European microstate, and has since moved to the less traditional and more easily controlled New World) and Romney was only there for purposes of infiltration.  His goal was to test the reactions of the American people to insure that they weren't straying too far from their prescribed opinions. 

They needed him.  They needed to watch Facebook, and use Google's creepily effective information-collecting system that more or less records everything you type into your search bar or email to find out how many people supported Romney and why.  But, of course, they couldn't actually have him win.  That was not his purpose.

Now, they have their information.  They know who we are, and where we are.  They know what operating system we use, and whether or not we are weak-minded enough to own an iPhone.  For the next four years, expect to be gently and carefully brainwashed until we all believe we were actually born to be citizens of Azerbaijan, and we just needed that little push, and a little unexpected conquest, to get us there.

If I were a super villain, why would I do it?

I wish I could have an impact.

My mommy can tell me I've had a huge impact on her life, and my nieces can shower me in love and make me feel quite important, and even my fiancé can tell me I'm wonderful... but it's still just a few people.

I cast my vote today, for the better of the two main candidates (of course!), and voted down an amendment that could very likely result in higher taxes for the rest of us.  I voted for congressmen that were the same party as my preferred presidential candidate in hopes that it would be easier for the government to get things done.

...just like millions of other people.

I have to vote - if everyone felt tiny, felt like their vote didn't count, voter turnout would be so small that there would be no way to represent the will of the people.  If you have an opinion about who should be running the country, you should participate.  I did my duty as a citizen today, and I cast my vote.

...just like millions of other people.

I wish I could do more.  I wish I could take something broken and fix it, and by doing so improve millions of lives.  I don't want to be a helpful member of the masses.  I want to be the one who inspires the masses, the one who convinces them to help.

So what is it that I'm wanting?  What is my "character motivation," then? 

Do I really want to fix broken things?  Or is it something darker?  Am I craving the honor and glory?  The power?  Am I trying to make myself stronger?  Do I fear that my tiny life will be forgotten?

I guess, if I were to be an adequately complex character, the answer would be, "Yes." 

I want to help the world, change it for the better.  I want people to be happy and safe.  I want to end abuse and show every person in the world what it feels like to love unconditionally. 

I want people to listen to me, to respect me.  I want people to believe that I am wise enough to guide them.  I want them to look at how I changed the world and say, "She was an amazing person."

And I don't want to fade away.  How many billions and trillions of lives have been forgotten?  We have a few, thousands, maybe even millions, that we remember, starting with a few Egyptians around 3,000 BC.  And in 5,000 years, how many people lived and died, craving to be remembered, that we will never read a book about?

So, would I be a super hero or a super villain?  I have a craving for influence and glory in my motivations.  But I also have a genuine desire to make things better, not worse.

Maybe I'll just become a misguided hero, face off with a misguided villain, and we can both blow a hole through the Oort cloud.

Oh, but wait.  I have to do something great first.

Darn this small-scale life I lead.