Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Don't be a hater, yo!

That's right.  Yo.  Yes, I just said that.  No, I don't speak Ebonics.  Heck, I barely know what Ebonics is, and I probably have a slightly skewed definition of it.  I think it's the dialect of English that black people speak.

Anyway, I was reading the news today, and for the first time since I started reading it, it was really depressing!  Usually I love reading about all the death and destruction in the Middle East.  It's fascinating!  It's one really huge drama unfolding into events that will one day be in world history text books.  And yes, I'm living to see it!  I'll take the high gas prices.  Historical global turmoil is so worth it!


No, I'm not crazy.  I'm a history major.  So nyah.


So, while I was editing a set of engagement pictures I took this past weekend, my big computer was being characteristically slow, so I decided to pull up the news on my little computer to keep myself entertained while each edit loaded.  Seriously, I NEED to get a new computer for my pictures.  Maybe a Mac next time... after I win $10,000 and can afford anything other than a cheap PC.

*Ahem*  Back from that tangent. 


Anyway, the front page story was about protests at a soldier's funeral.  This fundamentalist Christian group has taken to protesting soldier's funerals as a way of drawing attention to the fact that God is punishing our nation for acceptance of homosexuality by killing our soldiers. 


How did they draw that connection?  That's a great question!  Let me tell you.


According to the news article I read, one of the fundamentalist guys said that God punishes the wicked by giving them pain, and nothing is more painful than having your child killed.  Therefore, the dead soldiers are punishment for our nation's acceptance of homosexuality.  Can't you see the connection?  It's so clear!


Anyway, the picture on the front of the article showed a bunch of protesters holding signs that said, "God hates you," and "Thank God for dead soldiers," and "God hates Obama!" (???!)


Now, clearly, the article being slanted against these protesters, the photographer is going to take a picture of the nastiest, most vengeful, hateful signs he can find, and maybe get three of the nastiest people to stand next to each other so he can get them all in one shot.  The goal of that picture was to display the bias of the article in order to create inflammatory feelings in the viewer.


Well, it worked.


Sorry, but I don't care how slanted the article was (and yes, there was a definite slant in it), but that stuff bugs me.  The whole using God to promote your hateful agenda thing?  Not cool.  Go ahead, protest homosexuality.  Stand up for your beliefs.  Just do it nicely.  Don't claim God hates anyone because guess what!  You're not God!


**Jumping off soapbox now**


Sorry, that was not meant to be a rant on my opinion of the matter.  And believe me, I could write (and have written) a whole long discourse of my opinion on that particular subject, but such thoughts are confined to me journal, which you are not allowed to read, so BA HA HA HA HA!


The thing that intrigued me was the emotional response that article gave me.  I was definitely at least a little annoyed, but mostly it was just depressing.  Then I read an article on the pope's efforts to combat the world's raging anti-Semitism, and I got more depressed.  Then I read an article about how Tennessee is attempting to pass a law that makes following Shariah (Islamic law) illegal.  Then I read an article on Gadhafi's airstrikes against rebels in Libya, and my day picked up significantly.


So, in short, today I had a great moment of self discovery, where I learned that the state of the world DOES depress me at times, but not regarding wars and explosions and blood and people dying and stuff.  It's people being hateful and mean.


Meaning, if I ever want to be happy, I have no choice but to spend the rest of my life hiding from mean people.  I think I shall live in a hollow tree in Manitoba.  That's in Canada.  I'll spend the rest of my life there, and my friends will be the snow bunnies and the moose.  Mooses.  Meese.  Whatever.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

No sleep? No problem!

I'm tired.

I'm also in class.  The teacher is talking about our papers.  He's been talking about our papers for about 15 minutes now.  He's telling us how to analyze primary sources.  I'm not really hearing him.  He keeps throwing in Arab names.  I don't speak Arabic.

Somewhere in there I keep hearing words like "sources" and "Richard Lionheart" and "French."  Oh, and "court historian."  I know they're supposed to make sense.  I know it. 

Hey, I heard the word "evaluate."  That's a scary word.  It implies critical thinking.  The scary part is the thinking. 

Critical is mean.

Why is critical good in school but bad in real life? 

Is critical good or bad in fake life?

What is fake life anyway?

I'm tired.

I think I said that already.

I finished my take home midterm, though.  It's all printed out and shiny in my bag.  I also scored 8/10 on my quiz.  Pretty good for not having time to read the chapter.

I had a lot more energy at 6 a.m. this morning.

I'd like to get back to learning about Alexios Komnenos and Byzantium.

Hey look, we're talking about Byzantium again.

I'm taking notes.  They're fun. 

Now we're talking about John Komnenos.  His sister tried to oust him from the empire and stick her own husband in there so she could rule.  His sister was a power hungry maniac, but she was pretty cool.  Actually, I don't know if she's a maniac yet.  I haven't written my paper on her yet... or done any of the research. 

John Komnenos married a German.  Her name was Bertha.

I thought about naming a goldfish Bertha once.

John stuck his sister in a nunnery.  She became a writer. 

That's a good life's lesson.  When world domination plans fail and you get imprisoned in a nunnery, write about how awesome your dead dad is.

Armenians had kingdoms of their own in Mesopotamia, but they were also in Egypt.  They were also in Crusader armies.  Armenians!  They're everywhere!

In the battle of Myriokephalon, the Byzantine army got wiped out by walking through a mountain pass when there were Turks around.  That wasn't very smart.

I wonder what Myriokephalon looks like with Greek letters.

I'll have to have Clarke set up Greek letters on my netbook.

Clarke is in the Bahamas right now.

That's okay, because it's in the 50's here.  When he gets back it'll be in the 30's.  Ha.  Ha.  Ha.

There were robins on the way to school.  I think it might be almost spring.

Almost spring isn't as nice as spring.  Almost spring tends to be cold and muddy, without the green grass or the flowers.  It's my least favorite time of year, because I spend it missing the snow and wishing for flowers.

And bunnies.

And rainbows.

And sunshine.

How I miss the sunshine!

Actually, I don't really know what I'm talking about, because it's sunny outside right now.

But, I'm not outside.

I'm in a classroom.

Is the vitamin that you get from the sun Vitamin D?

That's also the vitamin you get from whole milk.

I know that because they call it Vitamin D milk.  I think they figured that would sell better than "Will Give You A Few Extra Calories So That You Think You're Going to Blow Up Like An Inflatable Sumo Suit" milk.  The cows came up with that themselves.

Meanwhile the goats are going on a hunger strike and refusing to eat garbage because back in ancient times everybody drank goat's milk, and they miss the prestige that gave them.

But really, goat's milk is nasty.  It's no wonder people switched to moo moo milk.

Yes I just called cows moo moo's.

Cows are also known as Cattle.  Also Kine.  Oxen are a type of cow.

There are cows on the power point.

I'm not in Crusades class anymore, by the way.  I'm in Europe in the Middle Ages.

Though there were cows on the Crusades.

Knights rode them into battle.

Actually they didn't.  That was a lie.  But they were there anyway.  I don't really know why.

My teacher is talking about David O. McKay's house.  I have no idea what this has to do with Europe in the Middle Ages.  He saw a woman in a long dress, pulling a plow, in the 1990's.  He does this a lot.  Lots of tangents about his life and stuff he sees that really has naught to do with the lecture.  He also repeats himself a lot.  I'm learning a lot about what the world was like back then, but not so much about stuff that happened.  I'm not sure which I prefer.  Stuff that happened is interesting, but separate worlds are fascinating too.  At least I don't have to know dates.

I just found out that oats are considered horse food, and not human food.  Back in the middle ages, farmers would have to set aside land for oats, which they would feed to their horses (if they weren't using oxen), which they then didn't eat themselves.

So... where the heck did oatmeal come from?

I guess oats had to learn how to roll before they could be eaten by people.

I wonder how people came up with rolled oats.

Maybe some kid stuck oats in his pants and rolled down a hill!

Har har.  Yeah, I know.  I'm tired, okay?

Holy cow, this is a long post.

Okay, I'm done now, I guess.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Move over, Chuck! There's a new awkward super spy in town!

Adventure!  Excitement!  Yes, the stuff of my life.

Today's adventure actually began yesterday, with the discovery of my skills.

I was walking to school along that wooded path above the stadium and, to my dismay, a fallen tree blocked my path.  It was a very branchy tree, and only half of it had fallen, the other half still sticking straight up in the side of the steep hill.  That situation made going around nigh impossible.  So, I tried going over.

It went something like this:

*Hold onto straight trunk while standing on fallen trunk* <branch in the face> "Ow!" <stumble> "WHAH!" <splat!>
"Geh heh... that was fun!"

And off I went.

On the way home from my morning lab, I was again faced with the tree in the trail, but this time I had experience.  I jumped up and landed on the fallen trunk, narrowly avoided the branches to the face, dodged the big branch, and jumped to the ground, successfully over.

While my second encounter with the tree was significantly more graceful than the first, it was nothing compared to the third.  Thursdays I have an evening class.  I have to go to school twice.  That means that yet again, I encountered the fallen tree.

This time, it was awesome!  I sprung from the ground and caught hold of the straight trunk, using that momentum to swing my body around as I planted my feet against the side of the hill.  I swung myself onto the fallen trunk, dodged each and every branch as I balanced myself, walking to the other side, where I leaped into the air, landing on the ground with catlike grace.

That. Was. AWESOME!!!!!!

I sat there, gloating to myself over my magnificent move, and the glorious grace with which I perfectly performed said stunt!  Did you see that, universe?  Did you see that?  THAT WAS TOTALLY WICKED!!! (yes, please picture the little kid from The Incredibles yelling that.)  That's right, James Bond, you ain't got nothin' on my skills!  That was a super spy move right there!

I cheerfully skipped the rest of the way to my class, where I spent 3 hours learning about how to develop a magic system in a fictional fantasy world (yes, Brandon Sanderson's creative writing class is awesome!)

On the way home, it was all dark and creepy outside, so I chose the paved route, rather than walking through the dark strip of woods.  Sadly, I did not face the tree again.

This morning, however, I knew I'd have my chance.  Once again, I'd show my awesomeness!  Not only that, but today there was someone to see it!  My friend, Kunkee, was leaving for school the same time that I was, so that meant he'd get to go over the trunk with me!

Now, in all honesty, I wasn't thinking about the trunk or my stunt at that point.  It didn't occur to me until we were actually on said path.  But, the instant I saw that fallen tree blocking our path, I remembered yesterday... I remembered my super skills greatness!  I grinned to myself.  Oh yes.  This time, someone would see.  It would be remembered!

I approached the tree, and quickened my pace.  There was that standing trunk!  I sprung!  I grabbed the trunk, gathering momentum for the swing, I planted my feet...

... in a hole.

<CRUNCH!>

"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!  OWWWWWWW!!!!!!  OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!"

When I was done screaming my head off, Kunkee carried me off the path.  He then went and got my car so I could take him to school and drive myself to the student health clinic.  What a nice guy!

According to the doctor, 'tis only a sprain.  I need to elevate it and keep it on ice.  Be sure to use crutches and an ankle brace.  In two weeks, go see a podiatrist for a follow up and advice on physical therapy to help it heal.

Yep.  Looks like my super spy days are done for a little while.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The sun is so bright outside my rock!

One of my family's greatest Christmas presents to me was a realization.  I came home for a much-too-short break, and on the way home from the airport my parents started talking about Wikileaks.  They said Wikileaks had said something about scandals in the Middle East.  With big eyes I asked, "Who is Wikileaks?"

Slowly, disbelieving, their eyes turned to look at me.  Then the whispers started.
"Oh my gosh, she's never heard of Wikileaks," my mom whispered to my dad. 
"That's not possible," my dad whispered back.  "Never heard of Wikileaks?  She must be joking!  Haha, you fell for it."
"No, she's serious.  Look at her face!  She really has no idea."
"Psh! Of course she does.  There isn't a human being in this universe who hasn't heard of Wikileaks.  I'm pretty sure even the Martians living in Berut know about it."
At which point I raised my hand and said, "Um, first of all, I can hear you.  Second... Martians in Berut?  Where are you getting your sources?"
Then their faces peeled off and they both laughed, "WE ARE THE MARTIANS!  BWA HA HA HA!!!" while my little brother huddled in the back and cried.

Okay, that whole scene was entirely made up.  But, when I asked "Who is Wikileaks?" they DID say, "Oh my gosh!  You've never heard of Wikileaks???!!!"
And then I felt kinda dumb.  Apparently it's a big deal.

So, figuring that I DID live under a rock here at college, where I didn't have time to focus on anything more than work or school, there were probably others around me who had never heard of it.  So I asked my roommates:
Me: "Hey, have you guys ever heard of Wikileaks?"
Them: "Ummm... yeah?  So?"
Me: "Grrrrrrr...."

So, I resolved to crawl out from under my rock, and see the sunshine.  I set a news site as my home page, and I've been, at the very least, reading the headlines.  If an article looks interesting, I read it!

Turns out, there's LOTS of stuff happening out there in the rest of the world!  Not only that, but it's actually interesting!

Take, for example, the conflicts in Egypt that happened yesterday.  They're calling for the fall of their own government, and their government is responding violently, killing 3 protesters yesterday.  They're also blocking facebook and twitter to prevent organization, while claiming they promote freedom of expression and they are most certainly NOT blocking any websites... which just happen to not be functional in their country.
This is all after the Tunisian government was brought crashing down by the populace who was sick of the authoritarian regime.

What was my reaction to this?

SWEET!

No, I'm not saying violence and destruction is sweet.  I remember last time I got excited about stuff like this, I got jumped on for being happy that people were dying.

The part that's so exciting to me is watching history unfold.  Seriously, discontent in the North Africa is leading to the fall of regimes and overturning of governments.  How big is this going to get?  What will the long term effects and consequences be?  It'll definitely get into local history books, but are we looking at an important chapter in world history?  I sure hope so!  That would be awesome!

So, I am now out from under the rock, and even though the rock is clawing at me to get me back, trapping me once again beneath an impossible load of work, I have found freedom!  And sunshine!  And the closest thing I could find to barbecue brisket here in Provo at 11 pm (I slathered Arby's roast beef in barbecue sauce).

And now, I am happy... and informed on current events. : )

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What would YOU do with an empty book?

Hey look!  I'm posting on my blog!

Yeah, I know.  I've been neglectful of my poor blog.  I haven't posted in *gasp!* almost 2 weeks!  I decided I would break that tonight, just because my blog is starting to get moody and crying a lot, and I think I may be giving it permanent abandonment issues.

See, the truth of the matter is, I've moved on to bigger things!  (No, little blog, not better.  Just bigger.  Stop crying and go eat a cupcake.)  And by bigger I mean writing that's actually on paper.

Actually, technically speaking there's no writing on the paper yet, but there WILL be... as soon as I'm done sewing up the binding of my first ever handmade book!  And then I have to figure out what I want to do with it.  I'm pretty much at a loss.  It's too small to become a journal (unless it's one of those "thought journals" or "quote journals" that I always think I'll start, and then never do... or write 2 quotes in and ignore for the rest of forever... or write homework assignments in it, then ignore as soon as the semester ends), and I'm terrible at drawing, so a sketch book is out.

Any ideas, person who reads my blog?  It's purple color with red roses, and will have red thread sewing up the spine (Coptic binding... meaning you actually get to SEE the thread, because it's on the OUTSIDE of the book... yeah.  Pretty cool), so it's a pretty book.  Hmmm... what to put in a pretty book?  I like the idea of sketches, but, again... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRAW! 

Phooey.